Took Desk Comic Strips - Page 96
1000 Results for Took Desk
View 951 - 960 results for took desk comic strips. Discover the best "Took Desk" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share September 05, 1999's comic on:
The Boss brings Dilbert a piece of paper. He tells him, "Good idea, Dilbert ... I made a few changes and sent it out." Dilbert reads the paper and screams, "GAAA!" Dilbert says, "You removed the parts that made it a visionary idea!" As the Boss stares at him blankly, Dilbert continues, "Now it's just an unimaginative retread of an idea that has been widely discredited." Dilbert yells in shock, "GAAA! AND IT HAS MY NAME ON IT!" Dilbert collapses back on his desk, saying, "That idea was the energizing force that gave me strength to work." Dilbert yells, "NOW IT'S DEAD! YOU KILLED IT!" Dilbert lies backwards, his head on his desk, gurgling. The Boss says, "I'd love to chat but I have to manage someone else now."
Share October 31, 1999's comic on:
The boss is following Dilbert to a desk. The boss says, "Here are the strategies from our seven silo teams." They sit down and the boss says, "Your job is to merge them into a coherent company plan." Dilbert says, "These are all mutually exclusive." Dilbert continues... "I'd have to totally change them to make them coherent." Dilbert goes on... "In effect, I would be deciding the strategy for the entire company." The boss says, "That's okay." Dilbert replies, "It is?" The boss walks off thinking, "No one ever reads it anyway." Dilbert, at his computer thinks, "I feel sorry for those losers on the silo teams."
Share March 10, 2005's comic on:
Wally: "Have you ever noticed that the things that don't kill you make you weaker?" "And great minds don't think alike. If they did, the patent office would only have about fifty inventions." "I started getting suspicious when I cried over spilt milk and the cashier took it off my bill"
Share October 13, 2005's comic on:
Carol: I took the liberty of calculating how rich you'd have to be... "Before I'd be willing to date you. The number is four trillion dollars." "You're happily married." "That's all factored in."
Share March 23, 2006's comic on:
Famous artist Dogberto will tell us his plans for our lobby. "I plan to buy a drop cloth at Home Depot and drape it over the security desk." "Won't that be hard on the guard?" "Not until I douse it with gas and light it."
Share June 29, 2006's comic on:
Exit Interview "And what is your reason for leaving?" "To be honest, I was spending way too much time thinking about creative ways to kill you." "Have you cleared out your desk?" "Why don't you go check."
Share November 18, 2006's comic on:
You haven't given me enough resources to do my project. "That's because your project isn't important and neither are you." "This took an ugly turn." "Would you mind not exhaling so much in my office?"
Share December 19, 1999's comic on:
Susan is standing in front of the boss who is sittind at his desk. Susan says: "May I get a laptop computer?" The boss answers: "No, but you can order one for me." Dilbert hands a sheet of paper to the boss and says: "May I go to this technical seminar in Hawaii? The boss answers: "No, but you can sign me up for it." Alice shows the boss a calendar and says: "May I take this Friday off so I have a four day weekend?" The boss answers: "No, but you can sit in for me while I take that Friday off." Wally says to the boss:"May I eat this caterpillar?" The boss answers: "Give me that." The boss is sitting at his desk all by himself and thinks: " I hope they never recognize the pattern." while he is chewing the caterpillar.
Share April 09, 2000's comic on:
Dilbert sits at the Boss' desk in his office and the Boss says to him, "Fly to Austin and answer some questions for a big customer." Dilbert asks, "Doesn't this customer have a telephone?" The Boss replies in shock as he thrusts his arms out to the side. "You don't call big customers!" Obviously confused, Dilbert aks "Um...why not?" In an exasperated voice, The Boss replies "You have to go in person to show that you care." Still not catching on, Dilbert replies "Actually, that would show that I didn't understand the concept of the telephone.? Now completely disgusted, The Boss replies "Just go." Dilbert is now sitting at a table with Ted who holds a phone in his hand and asks, "Do they have these where you come from?"