Big One Comic Strips - Page 96

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Big One

View 951 - 960 results for big one comic strips. Discover the best "Big One" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #actual question, #delivery, #fantasize, #imaginary one, #plastic casing, #ripping moustache, #two week

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Did you order the plastic casings I need? They take two weeks for delivery. DIlbert: I see that you've cleverly avoided my actual question in favor of an imaginary one involving delivery times. Now Im fantasizing about ripping off your mustache and using it to shine your head. I hear that a lot.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big picture, #drifting, #floating, #above earth, #plane, #coach, #in plane

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "I recommend that we look at the big picture and view it from 20,000 feet." The Boss: "Drifting.. floating above the Earth.. wait.. a plane is coming right at me! NO-O-O-O!!!" Dilbert: "Maybe you should imagine you're in the plane." The Boss: "GAAAA!! I'm in coach!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #nano bit project, #Dilbert, #take over, #everyone busy, #face in allaegators, #one cracker a day, #cracker time, #quitting tomorrow, #four problems

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: "I don't have time to work on the nanobit project." The Boss: "No problem. Tell Dilbert I said he should take over." Two minutes later Dilbert: "I'm way, way too busy." The Boss: "Fine. Tell Wally to do it." Two minutes later. Wally: "I'm up to your face in alligators!" The Boss: "Okay, okay... hand it off to Asok." Two minutes later. Asok: "But already I only have time to eat one cracker a day." The Boss: "Tell Ted I said.." Ted: "Sure, I'll do it. No problem." Asok: "Mmm.. cracker time." Ted: "I'm quitting tomorrow." The Boss: "I solved four problems today!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employee moral survey, #open, #honest, #communication from management, #death spiral, #looting comaony, #noise, #fishing lures, #e, #ploys suffer, #boss likes hurting, #sick boss, #negative force

View Transcript

Transcript

"I have the results of the employee morale survey." "The number one issue is 'not enough open and honest communication from management.'" "Well, okay. I'm willing to give that a try." "Management is looting the company while hiding the fact that we're in a death spiral." "Whenever you talk, I think about fishing lures until the noise stops." "When I see an employee suffer, it excites me in ways I don't understand." "On nine separate occasions I've fired bald guys because I thought they were you." "If this doesn't work for you. Let me know on next employee morale survey."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ne whore, #break room, #pushy, #punchable, #met alice

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: "Hey, big guy, how's your golf game lately?" Dilbert: "I've only known you for three seconds and already I have a deep desire to punch you." Man: But no one ever does." Dilbert: "Have you met Alice?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new hire, #guy, #bothering workers, #love golf, #rain tomorrow, #plans, #sad paper body, #roll in salt, #scoring system

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: "I love golf. Golfing is fun. It's a good day to golf. Do you want to go golfing in the rain tomorrow at 6 A.M.?" Wally: "No, thanks. I have plans to sandpaper my entire body and roll around in salt." Man: "I hope no one ever creates a scoring system for that."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #used coffee sirrer, #watsebacket, #not maid, #laziness

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: "Hey! You left a used coffee stirrer on the counter!!!" Wally: "The wastebasket was one foot away! I am an associate not your maid!!!" "Behold the power of laziness." Carol: "So, I'll throw it away for you THIS TIME."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #budget for research and development, #confidential, #witty, #appreciation, #laugh, #teeth fall out

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: "Ted, what's the budget for Research and Development?" Ted: "It's confidential. I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you. Hee hee!" Alice: "I've never heard that one. It's very witty." Alice: "Allow me to show my appreciation with the following fake laugh." "HA HA HA HA HA HA!!" "HA HA HA HA HA!!!" Alice: "Those are my real teeth. I need them back."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #alternative universes, #Dilbert, #therapy session, #dense objects, #space time fold, #fabric, #whats happening?

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: All week I felt like I was driving through alternative universes I was me, But Was different. Therapist: Have you been near any dense objects that would make the fabric of space-time fold onto itself? ONE WEEK AGO The Boss: will there be any unforeseen problems? Dilbert: whats happening to me?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conference calls from mens room, #idiotssyncrasies, #conference calls, #finished newspaper

View Transcript

Transcript

"Wally, there have been complaints that you take conference calls from the men's room." "Ok, perhaps I have a few idiosyncrasies, but it's only because I care so much about the work." "No one invited you to those conference calls." "What if I've already finished the newspaper?"