Infinite People Comic Strips - Page 96
1000 Results for Infinite People
View 951 - 960 results for infinite people comic strips. Discover the best "Infinite People" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share December 09, 2013's comic on:
CEO: Hello, random subordinate that I am seeing in the hallway! I'm your CEO, but I'm still like a regular person. Asok: My name is Asok. CEO: I only touch people who own boats.
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Dilbert: Hey, look! There's a story on the Internet about your fabulous CEO lifestyle. Here's a picture of your yacht, your penthouse in New York, your palatial estate, and your priceless art. CEO: This really isn't the time. Dilbert: Said the man with the million-dollar watch.
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Share January 04, 2014's comic on:
Alice: I brought you some muffins so I won't need to watch my weight. If I fatten up the people around me, I'll look good even if I gain a few pounds. Dilbert: Won't that make you look mean? Alice: In phase two, I'll also make you angrier than me.
Share January 11, 2014's comic on:
CEO: Hello, underling. Watch me do a self-deprecating joke to underscore my true power. Ho ho! I am not good at some types of unimportant tasks! Ha ha! That's why I'm glad I have people like you to do those things. Dilbert: Impressive.
Share January 25, 2014's comic on:
Boss: Alice, I'm adding Jeff to your project team. Alice: That's like trying to put out a forest fire by dropping a baby on it. Boss: I'm available to help, too. Alice: Okay, your job is to keep Jeff from doing anything.
Share January 26, 2014's comic on:
Boss: What's the newest management jargon I need to pretend you understand? Catbert: Experts say you should engage employees and follow from the front. Boss: Does that mean anything? Catbert: No one know. Just to be safe, you should tell people you're doing it. Boss: Should I act as if I'm passionate, or is this more of a fake caring situation? Catbert: Beats me. Try combining the two. Boss: Fake passion plus fake caring. Asok: My uncle died. Boss: Woot!!! What was his name?!
Share January 27, 2014's comic on:
Catbert: Our big data analysis tells us that only the top performers leave for higher pay. Since you're still here, it means your performance is average at best. Dilbert: That's not fair! Catbert: That's what all the average people say.