Make Less Comic Strips - Page 96

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View 951 - 960 results for make less comic strips. Discover the best "Make Less" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 22, 2011's comic on:


Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #interviews, #managers, #dumb decions, #particpate

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Dogbert: I'm doing a study to find out which managers make dumb decisions. Would you like to participate? Boss: I don't see why not. Dogbert: And we're done.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 01, 2011's comic on:


Tags #actions & defenses, #computers & peripherals, #internet & world wide web, #international data security standards group, #security prcedures, #bed sores

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Boss: Dogbert is chairing the international data security standards group. Dogbert: The goal of our organizations is to make your security procedures so inconvenient that you give up hope and die from bed sores. We take pride in being independent from the companies that fund us.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 04, 2011's comic on:


Tags #complaining, #conversation, #reflexive urge, #diagree, #counter point, #software can't be changed

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Man: Everything you said is right, but I have a reflexive urge to disagree with you. If you don't mind, I'm going to make a ridiculous counterpoint just to get it out of my system. Dilbert: Okay, but don't be creepy about it. Man: Software can't be changed. Ahhhh... that's good.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 06, 2011's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #clubs, #meetings, #society for the preservation of evil ideas, #file patents, #sue for infringement, #embezzle, #Entertainment

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Dogbert: Welcome to the monthly meeting of "The Society for the Preservation of Evil Ideas." Our goal for the coming year is to convince companies to file absurdly broad patents and sue each other for infringing. CIO: How do we make money from that? Dogbert: Beats me. I'm just here to embezzle your dues.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 08, 2011's comic on:


Tags #announcements, #meetings, #communicate, #other departments, #criticize, #war on knowledge

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Boss: We need to communicate less with other departments. The more they know about us, the more they criticize what we do. Dilbert: Is this part of your larger war on knowledge? Boss: That was the last thing I'll ever tell you.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 12, 2011's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #stock market, #hedge fund, #million dollars, #insider trading, #algorithm, #winning trades, #create algorithm, #eat fiber, #money

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Dogbert: I'll pay you a million dollars a year to work at my hedge fund. I'll do the insider trading and you pretend you created an algorithm that makes winning trades. Dilbert: What if I actually create the algorithm? Dogbert: Sure, and maybe you can eat fiber and make gold, too.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 14, 2011's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #research facilities, #work home, #2 days, #twice as prodcutive, #elaborate science experiment, #commute to sit in box, #control group, #frustration

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Dilbert: Can I work at home for two days per week? I can be twice as productive, and happier at the same time. Boss: I probably shouldn't tell you this... but you're part of an elaborate science experiment to see how much frustrations it takes to kill employees. Why else would the company make you commute for two hours a day just to sit in a tiny box? Don't feel bad: no one told me either. I had to piece it together from the evidence. Now I do my part to keep the experiment moving along. Dilbert: Other people work from home. Boss: Are you referring to the control group?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 25, 2011's comic on:


Tags #anger, #thinking, #ignorant, #backstabbing, #die, #make changes

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Customer meeting Boss: If I may correct what Dilbert just said, I'm sure it would be easy to make those changes. Dilbert: You ignorant, backstabbing son of a beach ball. Boss: Are you saying something inside your head? Dilbert: No. Die.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 01, 2011's comic on:


Tags #writing, #writing materials, #executive leadership, #money good, #pie chart, #kitten

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Boss: Can you word that more simply? I need to explain it to the executive leadership. Alice: Money be god. This make more. Oogah! Boss: That was uncalled for? Alice: I can replace the pie chart with a kitten.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 05, 2011's comic on:


Tags #anxiety, #stress, #creative, #ethical shortcuts, #less honest, #questions, #uncomfortable, #job interview

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Interview Alice: Are you creative? Man: Oh, yes. I'm very creative. Alice: Research tells us that creative people take ethical shortcuts and are generally less honest. Man: Ooh. Alice: Do you take a long time to do things? Man: I don't know the right answer!