New York Harbor Comic Strips - Page 96
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1000 Results for New York Harbor
View 951 - 960 results for new york harbor comic strips. Discover the best "New York Harbor" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday September 11,
2014
Tags complimenting people, flattery, indirect, made car, make his own car, new car, parking lot
Transcript
Dilbert: I saw you new car in the parking lot. It's nice. Topper: Thank you. Dilbert: I'm complimenting the people who made your car, not you. Topper: Well, I guess only one of us knows how to make his own car.
Monday September 29,
2014
Tags incompetence, work culture, cultural fit, cultural incompetence, joking, new employee, introductions
Transcript
Boss: Dilbert, meet Larry. He isn't terribly competent, but he's a good cultural fit. Dilbert: Hi, Larry. Thanks for reinforcing our culture of incompetence. Larry: You're joking about the incompetence, right. Boss: Sure.
Wednesday October 01,
2014
Tags drinking, hiring, personality tests, sales, sales personnel, sociopaths, storytelling skills, morgue, selfie, dead guy, super drunk, hired, sales person, new hire, business
Transcript
Boss: I can tell a lot from an applicant's storytelling skills. So tell me a story. Man: Last week, I broke into a morgue and took a selfie with a dead guy. But in my defense, I was super drunk. Boss: I hired a new salesperson.
Saturday October 11,
2014
Tags business casual, clothing, dorks, dress code, fashion, business dorky, unstylish, tan colored, dumb name, new order
Transcript
Catbert: Our new dress code is "Business Dorky." Your clothes must be dorky, unstylish, and 50% tan colored. Dilbert: So... business casual? Catbert: That's a dumb name for it.
Monday October 13,
2014
Tags accessories, busniess casual, clothing, dorks, fashion, new dress code, powerless, boring, sexually irrelevant, badeg, asexual trespasser
Transcript
Dilbert: This is our new company dress code. We call it "Business Dorky." Dogbert: I like it because it makes you look powerless, boring, and sexually irrelevant. Dilbert: They make me wear this badge so I don't look like an asexual trespasser. Dogbert: Accessories make the outfit.
Tuesday October 14,
2014
Tags anger, clothing, dress code, dress codes, fashion, matching, same outifits, ale, dfemale, slap to death
Transcript
Dilbert: Hey, it's the first day of our new dress code and we wore exactly the same outfits! Alice: If you ever say that again I will rip out your tongue and use it to slap you to death. Dilbert: Is it because I wore it better?
Friday October 24,
2014
Tags business school, context, lists, ranking, rankings, list, votes, schools
Transcript
Boss: The new business school rankings are out. Dilbert: Is that the list that is based on the votes of people who have no direct knowledge of those schools? Boss: You ruin everything. Dilbert: Context is not your friend.
Saturday October 25,
2014
Tags graphic design, graphic designers, outsourcing, new employee, subcontract, starngers, internet, 5% salary, undermind, technology
Transcript
Boss: Dilbert, meet our new graphic designer. Dilbert: If I had your job, I would secretly sub it out to strangers on the Internet and pay them 5% of my salary while I did nothing all day. Oops, sorry. I didn't know you were already there.
Sunday October 26,
2014
Tags deception, email, insulting, intelligence, iq, trickery, work ethic, obession, addiction, work smarter, text, efficiency
Transcript
Wally: Studies show that continually checking email lowers your functional I.Q. You advised me to "work smarter," so I plan to ignore all of your email from now on. Boss: What if I text you instead? Wally: That's the sort of question that one asks after checking email too often. Boss: Did you just insult me? Wally: That answer is in your email. Boss: Where is it? I don't see any email from you. But I see six new emails that look important. What were we talking about. Wally: You were complimenting me on my efficiency.
Tuesday November 04,
2014
Tags blame, ceos, cnbc, executives, home address, layoffs, new prodcuts, product, quarterly, zero
Transcript
CEO: Our sales for the quarter are zero. Because I might have mentioned on CNBC that we have a better, cheaper model coming soon. So... great job on the new product... and I need to fire half of you so it looks as if I do things. Voice: What is your home address?


