Next Meeting Comic Strips - Page 96

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Next Meeting

View 951 - 960 results for next meeting comic strips. Discover the best "Next Meeting" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 23, 2009's comic on:


Tags #talking, #meeting, #ridiculous, #idea, #metaphysics, #pointing, #firing, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "We're paying too much taxes. Bring me a physicist and a tax attorney." Dogbert says, "I want to incorporate in another dimension. Make it happen." Man says, "Somewhere in the multiverse it's already done." Dogbert says, "I like you. The lawyer guy is fired."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 26, 2009's comic on:


Tags #worried, #bragging, #money, #foreclosure, #angry, #insensitive

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted says, "I can?t afford my mortgage because of my pay cut. The bank will take the house." Asok says, "I saved a bundle by being a renter. I should buy your house for next to nothing." Asok says, "Too soon?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 27, 2009's comic on:


Tags #evil, #mean, #cruel, #meeting, #money, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil director of human resources Catbert says, "You shouldn't come to work just for money." Catbert says, "You should come to work to avoid not having any money." Wally says, "I'm only in it for these meetings." Catbert says, "Settle down, baldy."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 28, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #idea, #deception, #lying, #unethical, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "We're going into the executive recruiting business." Dilbert says, "But the economy is so weak that there aren't any job openings." Dogbert says, "That's why we're also going into the executive coaching business." Dogbert says, "We'll give our clients bad advice, and get them fired." Dogbert says, "Then our recruiting division will offer to fill those jobs." Dogbert says, "Wally, you'll be our executive coach." Wally says, "Your receptionist is cute have you considered stalking her?" Man says, "Um...a little." Wally says, "You can borrow my binoculars."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 05, 2009's comic on:


Tags #worried, #scared, #stupidity, #shaking, #cruel, #economy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I'm worried that I won't get a raise this year." The boss says, "You shouldn't worry about that." The boss says, "You should worry that you might lose your job in the next round of layoffs." Dilbert says, "I should worry about that???" The boss says, "Well...probably not." The boss says, "It makes more sense to worry about the entire company going out of business." The boss says, "And that's nothing if the global economy collapses." The boss says, "Maybe you should worry that the only viable livelihood of the future invokes cannibalism." Dogbert says, "Are you still worried about not getting a raise?" Dilbert says, "Not so much."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 06, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #idea, #unethical, #evil, #corrupt, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "We'll build a factory in every state." Dogbert says, "Politicians will vote to throw huge pork projects our way to benefit their home states." The boss says, "You're turning capitalism against democracy." Dogbert says, "You say weiner, I say winner."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 07, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #rules, #ridiculous, #nervous, #shaking, #worried, #stupidity, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "We won a huge government contract." The boss says, "Now we need to follow all of our company policies plus every government procurement rule." Dilbert says, "I feel like I'm being smothered by a damp mattress!" The boss says, "That's what victory feels like!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 08, 2009's comic on:


Tags #sitting, #meeting, #evil, #ridiculous, #angry, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil director of human resources Catbert says, "Before I counsel you?" Catbert says, "You might want to clench your various sphincters so your soul doesn't escape." Wally says, "Is it okay if I release a scouting party?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 10, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #economy, #job, #screaming, #health, #Promotion, #rejection, #denial, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "Asok, the company isn't growing, and no one is quitting in this economy." The boss says, "Your only hope for promotion is if a senior engineer dies." Dilbert says, "I joined a gym!" Asok says, "No-ooo!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 20, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #anger management, #argument, #annoyed, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert says, "I'm sending you to an anger management class because of your recent outburst against your boss." Dilbert says, "When one is being abused by a figure of authority, anger is a healthy and appropriate response." Catbert says, "Right. We want less of that."