Insulted By Wally Comic Strips - Page 96

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 17, 2009's comic on:


Tags #sitting, #meeting, #business, #venture, #idea, #objecting, #ridicule, #criticism, #scheme

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Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "We're going into the internet news business." Dilbert says, "We're hiring reporters?" Dogbert says, "No, we'll summarize stories from other sites and provide links." Dilbert says, "So?we'll be parasites?" Dogbert says, "Go buy a vinyl record, Grandpa."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 16, 2009's comic on:


Tags #sitting, #meeting, #training, #raising hand, #firing, #confused, #surprised, #business

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The Boss says, "Who needs training to keep up with technology trends?" Ted says, "Me." The Boss says, "You're fired. I only want people who already know how to do their jobs." Ted says, "I did not see that coming." Wally says, "They don't have a class to fix that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 13, 2009's comic on:


Tags #sitting, #reprimand, #discipline, #excuses, #explaining, #raises, #news, #budget, #money

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The Boss says, "Wally, when you don't give 100%, it's unfair to your co-workers who have to pick up the slack." Wally says, "Actually, I'm pretty sure they like having less competition for raises." The Boss says, "There's no budget for raises this year." Wally says, "Yeah, I wouldn't mention that to the others."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 12, 2009's comic on:


Tags #complaining, #pain, #work, #irresponsible, #chugging, #coffee, #suppressing, #lazy

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Wally says, "Gaaa! I feel a sudden pang of caring about the quality of my work!" Glug glug glug glug Dilbert says, "Did you kill it?" Wally says, "I think so, but I'd better roll a donut in front of the cave."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 09, 2009's comic on:


Tags #sitting, #complaining, #value, #recession, #ridiculous, #proud, #competing

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Topper Dilbert says, "The value of my home is down about 40%" Topper says, "That's nothing!" Topper says, "I paid a homeless Elbonian family a million dollars to take my house." Dilbert says, "A recession isn't a competition." Topper says, "Said the loser."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 08, 2009's comic on:


Tags #talking, #telling, #story, #interrupted, #annoyed, #berating, #angry, #hijacked, #criticism, #ridicule, #ignoring

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Dilbert says, "And then Ted said he'd?" Man says, "Ho ho! I've seen that a million times!" Man says, "At my old job we used to make cricket noises whenever our manager was approaching." Man says, "But that doesn't mean you should cut corners when it comes to quality." Dilbert says, "You're hijacking our conversation!" Man says, "I'm adding value." Dilbert says, "You don't even know what we were talking about." Wally says, "Apparently you have a social disorder that compes you to insert irrelevant stories and trite observations into other people's conversations." Wally says, "I assume part of the disorder involves not being able to recognize it in yourself." Dilbert says, "I wonder if he can hear us." Man says, "Did I tell you about my camping trip?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 02, 2009's comic on:


Tags #sitting, #meeting, #drugs, #medicing, #explaining, #screaming, #scared, #stupidity, #suggestion, #business

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Man says, "My prescription meds cause drowsiness." Man says, "So I got a second prescription that causes phantom-hand syndrome to slap me at random intervals." Alice says, "Maybe you should use a doctor who has less-effective pharmaceutical reps in his territory." Man says, "Fist!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 31, 2009's comic on:


Tags #costume, #halloween, #ridicule, #criticism, #stupidity, #mocking, #holiday

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The Boss says, "What exactly is your Halloween costume supposed to be?" Wally says, "I'm going for a village idiot vibe, with a dash of Quasimodo." The Boss says, "Why does it seem so familiar?" Dilbert says, "I'm someone's management style."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 20, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #asking, #project, #procrastination, #excuses, #blame, #distraction, #annoyed, #frustrated, #business

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The boss says, "Wally, you didn't e-mail me your project status." Wally says, "Did you check your spam folder?" Wally says, "Maybe you should check there before you besmirch my good name with your baseless accusations." The Boss says, "Did you send it?" Wally says, "Okay, I see how you're trying to turn this around."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 13, 2009's comic on:


Tags #sitting, #meeting, #reading, #e-mail, #memo, #urging, #congress, #law, #opposed, #annoyed, #ridicule, #business, #Politics

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the boss says, "The company urges all of you to e-mail your congressman and support the bill that gives us pork projects." Dilbert says, "If that bill becomes law, it will, in effect, transfer my tax money to you executives for your next obscene bonuses." The Boss says, "Don't you own company stock in your retirement account?" Dilbert says, "No, I'm only dumb enough to work here."