One Week Comic Strips - Page 96

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 28, 2004's comic on:


Tags #liosuction, #disappeared, #head one, #eating donuts, #being fed donuts

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Dilbert: "How did the liposuction go?" The boss: "Good." "People say I look younger. And thanks to my self-discipline, I'll keep off the weight." "One more."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 25, 2004's comic on:


Tags #wretched slaves, #freinds, #private offcies, #cubilces, #roman general, #dogbertious, #slaves, #treatment, #evil dogbert

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The boss: I'm reading the leadership secrets of the famous Roman general Dogbertious. "Heres a good one: 'Put your wretced slaves in cubicles.'" Heres another: Don't read this book to wretched slaves"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 05, 2004's comic on:


Tags #product development, #two thirds, #Features, #reduce scope, #change request, #stacks of paper, #mean, #unethical, #passive agressive

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Dilbert: Our budget won't cover all of the product development. We can only do two thirds of the features for that amount. The Boss: reduce the scope of the project by one third. Dilbert: Okay. The boss: but theoretically.... Dilbert: No...dear lord, no. The boss: Id I later give you a change request to add one feature could you do it for the same budget. Dilbert One? sure. DATA GOES IN : MANAGEMENT COMES OUT. One sure changes are free, Carol: where do I put the change requests?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 25, 2004's comic on:


Tags #greetings earthlings, #planetary annihilation, #break room, #new coffee stirrers

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"Greetings, earthling. I bring you either wisdom or planetary annihilation. The choice is yours." "Stay in the break room. I'll go get my leader." "Very well." "The new coffee stirrers are great, but I got the last one."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 24, 2004's comic on:


Tags #return of topper, #one better, #obnoxious guy, #tap that, #insecurity, #alien, #distant galaxy

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Return of topper Asok: I found a rock that shaped like an egg. Topper: Thats nothing! I have rock thats shaped like nick lackey and jessica simpson. Asok: My rock just hatched! Its a fully clothed alien from a distant galaxy! Topper: Thats nothing`

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 16, 2004's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #improve communication, #imitates boss, #business

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Man: I called this meeting so I could tell you the division's goals for next year. Alice: Thats a good idea because we're all so dumb that we coldly possibly read this in email. Goal one: Improve communication. ALiceL I can't. Im too dumb.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 13, 2004's comic on:


Tags #low pay, #lowest paid, #blame, #no one left, #aliens, #illegal

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Tina: "I just saw a list of everyone's salary." "I thought the glass ceiling was holding me down, but you have the highest pay here." "There's no one left to blame for my low pay except... Ooh, wait... How about illegal aliens?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 07, 2004's comic on:


Tags #100 companies, #additional money, #happy to work, #fortune magazine

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The Boss: "Our corporate goal is to become one of Fortune magazine's top 100 companies to work for!" The boss: "We hope to do it without giving you any additional money, benefits or freedom." Wally: "Then how could you possibly motivate us to say we're happy to work … uh-oh."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 03, 2004's comic on:


Tags #opyomotrist, #nears sighted visonaries, #nerve expect worst, #charge price

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I've decided to become an optometrist for near-sighted visionaries. "They're ideal customers because they never expect the worst." "Which price am I most likely to charge you?" "The low one!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 01, 2004's comic on:


Tags #lost id badge, #security offcie, #sneak, #angel with bacon, #looks around

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Dilbert: I lost my ID besiege. Security: Report to the security office and get a new one. Hold it where do you think you're going? Dilbert: To the security office? Security: No one is allowed past this desk with out an ID badge. Dilbert: Okay....how do I go to the security office if I can't go to the security office? Security: Good question. I guess you'll have to steal past me. Dilbert: Look over there! Its an angel and she's giving away free bacon! Security: well well It seems Ive found a worthy adversary.