Being A Woman Comic Strips - Page 96

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Being A Woman

View 951 - 960 results for being a woman comic strips. Discover the best "Being A Woman" comics from Dilbert.com.

No Texting At Work

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
No Texting At Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #politeness, #etiquette, #company policy, #communication, #distraction, #social media, #conversation, #interaction, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The company's new politeness policy forbids you from texting while I am trying to talk to you. Alice: I'm not using a texting app. I'm replying to people on social media. Dilbert: You're missing the point. Alice: When did my happiness stop being the point?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complaining, #listening, #small talk

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: How's work? Dilbert: Well, since you asked... it's like being trapped in a garbage compactor and no one can hear me scream. All my hopes and dreams have died, along with my immune system and my dignity. The only thing keeping me alive is that food tastes good. I tried to escape into my imagination, but I learned I don't have one. My life has no meaning. Each second is a slow-motion ordeal. Why do I get the feeling you weren't listening to any of that? Boss:My day was good too.

Ambitious Men

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ambitious Men - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #rude, #honesty, #ambition, #insult, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: I like ambitious men. Are you ambitious? Dilbert: Not especially. For example, I settled for dating you. Woman: That's a terrible thing to say. Dilbert: You're the one who brought it up.

Wally Is Either Lazy Or Wise

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Is Either Lazy Or Wise - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #genius, #work ethic, #efficiency

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: Can you do that by end of day? Wally: It would be smarter to wait until we have the final specs. Woman: I can't tell if you're lazy or wise. Wally: It's all the same thing. Woman: This is a weird gray area. Wally: I'm going to take a quick nap to boost my productivity.

Breaking Up With Robot

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Breaking Up With Robot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #robot, #dating, #programming, #free will, #emotions, #cruelty, #relationships, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I met another robot. I'm breaking up with you. Robot: Okay. Alice: I need you to feel bad about this, so I'm uploading some code that makes you suffer. Robot: That sounds sadistic. Alice: Stop being selfish.

Dilbert Red Pills Asok

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Red Pills Asok - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #jargon, #language, #nonsense, #productivity, #illusion, #alternate reality

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Nothing in this dimension is real. Asok: Double-click on that. Dilbert: The jargon matrix is where people imagine they are being useful. But in reality, they are sitting in a chair doing nothing. Asok: I just made a ten-year technology plan.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cpr, #bragging, #braggart, #ego, #one-up, #storytelling, #exaggeration

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My CPR instructor says I was one of his best students. Topper: That's nothing. I'm so good at CPR that my practice dummy came to life. He grew limbs and got married to a crash test dummy. They had three mannequins together and they live in the suburbs. But the marriage didn't last because the CPR dummy could not forget the taste of my lips. I blame myself for being irresistible. Why do all of my conversations end with me sitting alone?

Dilbert's History Of Lying

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert's History Of Lying - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accusation, #innocence, #guilt, #lying, #deception

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I can't give you a raise because of your history of lying about everything. Dilbert: I don't lie. I have a history of being falsely accused. Boss: I'll add that lie to your list. Dilbert: I don't see a path to victory here.

Helping The Boss Be Successful

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Helping The Boss Be Successful - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #helpfulness, #niceness, #kindness

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: How can I help you achieve your goals and be more successful? Boss: You could stop talking all creepy and weird. Asok: I thought I was being helpful. Boss: Go hate your job like everyone else.

Threatening Wally

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Threatening Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #excuse, #threat, #ultimatum

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: Wally, did you finish the data scrub? Wally: No, a defect in my brain made me too lazy. Woman: Perhaps some sort of threat would get you going. Wally: It's worth a try. Woman: Do your work or else I'll tell everyone you're useless! Wally: That would save me a lot of time.