Enter Meeting Comic Strips - Page 96

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

961 Results for Enter Meeting

View 951 - 960 results for enter meeting comic strips. Discover the best "Enter Meeting" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally Hates His App

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Hates His App - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #application, #stop, #fix, #hate, #developers, #need, #problem solving

View Transcript

Transcript

wally speaking in meeting: i spent all week trying to sign into an app that stopped working for some reason. boss: but you got it to work in the end? wally: no, all i did was learn to hate the developers. boss: how do you plan to solve that? wally drinking coffee: i don't need to. it isn't an app i need.

Dilbert Characters

Coffee Productivity

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Coffee Productivity - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #business, #projects, #productive, #medical, #coffee, #lie, #medical-grade coffee

View Transcript

Transcript

wally in meeting with boss and dilbert: i've been highly productive since switching to medical-grade coffee. i finished all of my projects and did an excellent job on every one. boss: wow! dilbert and wally in hall after: so that stuff actually makes you more productive? wally: no, but it does make me lie better.

No Performance Reviews

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
No Performance Reviews - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #employment, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #technology, #Political, #social, #opinions, #ranking, #acceptable

View Transcript

Transcript

boss in staff meeting: the company will no longer do performance reviews. from now on, you will be ranked on the acceptability of your political and social opinions. dilbert: do you have a list of acceptable opinions? boss: there will be no hints.

Wally Answers Texts Later

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Answers Texts Later - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #sarcasm, #technology, #lazy, #working, #ignore, #text, #email, #response, #data

View Transcript

Transcript

asok: i rarely see you working. how do you get away with it? wally: it's easy. i just wait a day before answering any texts or emails. for example, here's alice asking if i can attend a meeting in an hour. i'll answer her in the morning and say i didn't see her message. And here's dilbert asking me for some data. tomorrow, i will text him to ask for clarification, and he will tell me he found the data on his own. asok: don't you feel guilty? wally: nah. they'd do the same to me. asok: and do they? wally: they would if i didn't ignore them first.

Alice Needs A Snack

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Alice Needs A Snack - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #decision, #managers & supervisors, #meeting, #break, #hungry, #snack

View Transcript

Transcript

alice: i'm too hungry to make good decisions. i need a break so i can eat a snack. boss: how do you know your decisions are bad? alice: i'm starting to agree with you. boss: i don't understand. alice is gone: exactly

Traumatic Story

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Traumatic Story - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mental health, #sales, #sales personnel, #business, #technology, #salesman, #traumatic, #experience, #child, #story, #relate, #manipulate, #emotions, #short-circuit, #critical, #thinking

View Transcript

Transcript

salesman in meeting: before i tell you about our newest product, i'd like to tell you a story about a traumatic experience i had as a child. wally: is your story related to the topic, or is it just an excuse to yammer about something that happened to you? salesman: i'm trying to manipulaye your emotions to short-circuit your critical thinking. wally: okay. carry on.

No Need To Zoom

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
No Need To Zoom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #technology, #video call, #voice call, #email, #texting, #zoom, #meeting, #update, #team, #laptop, #cell phone, #link, #progress

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i'll schedule a zoom call with the whole team tomorrow to give the update. dilbert: or you could tell me tomorrow, and i'll tell the rest of the team on our noon zoom call. boss: um, okay. i'll send you a zoom link tomorrow. dilbert: does our call need to be a video call? can we do a voice call? boss: well, yes, i guess we could just do a voice call. dilbert: do we need to talk, or can you just send me an an email? boss: i suppose i could just send you an email. dilbert: okay. we're making progress. now, have you heard of "texting"?

Dlbert Prefers The Pandemic

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dlbert Prefers The Pandemic - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #health & safety, #pandemic, #end, #meet, #new, #people, #focus, #friends, #prefer

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert and dogbert on a walk. dilbert: i don't want the pandemic to end because i kind of prefer not meeting new people. dogbert: don't focus on the end of the pandemic. maybe it's really about the friends you didn't make along the way.

Workplace Injuries

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Workplace Injuries - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #meeting, #video call, #workplace, #injury, #reduce, #work from home, #security, #guard, #hurt, #back, #steal, #office equipment

View Transcript

Transcript

boss on video call. boss: i'm proud to announce we reduced workplace injuries by 76% this past year. voice from laptop: we all worked from home this year. shouldn't we have seen a 100% reduction? boss: our security guard kept hurting his back stealing office equipment.

Instead Of Handshakes

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Instead Of Handshakes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #handshake, #substitute, #read, #vote, #suggestions, #obscene

View Transcript

Transcript

boss in meeting with dilbert and wally. boss: thank you for your suggestions on what we should do instead of shaking hands. i'd like to read a few. and we can take a vote. well, it seems that all of your suggestions are obscene. wally raised hand: i vote yes