Follows Man Comic Strips - Page 96

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Follows Man

View 951 - 960 results for follows man comic strips. Discover the best "Follows Man" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 13, 2009's comic on:


Tags #acting, #lesson, #humor

View Transcript

Transcript

Office acting coach man says, "This exercise is called 'the over-worked headcount' man says, "AYOWAAAIEEEOW!" man says, "Can you do that?" Dilbert says, "Are you kidding? I only stop doing it to be polite."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 23, 2009's comic on:


Tags #company, #lawyer, #stipulations, #restrictions, #humor, #business, #legal

View Transcript

Transcript

Company lawyer man says, "The company owns Dilbertfiles.com and all of its I.P. Because you created it at work." man says, "So you'll need to pay us a royalty every time you use the name 'Dilbert'" Dilbert says, "How did you get in my house?" man says, "There's a loophole in your door."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 30, 2009's comic on:


Tags #investing, #rudeness, #firing, #downsizing

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "Your stock fell a penny a share so I bough 51% of the company." Dogbert says, "I'll double my investment just by firing you." Dogbert says, "Thanks for not being totally worthless." Man says, "You're welcome."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 19, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #ridiculous, #explanation, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Sorry I'm late. My company cut the travel budget so I had to hitch a ride with a serial killer." Dilbert says, "He took me to an abandoned slaughterhouse. I knocked him out with a hambone, stole his truck and drove directly here." Man says, "All I heard was 'Blah, blah, blah, I'm late.'" Dilbert says, "Don't make me get my hambone."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 25, 2009's comic on:


Tags #Politics, #hearing, #argument, #economy

View Transcript

Transcript

Bailout hearings Man says, "Mr. Dogbert, did you fly here in a corporate jet?" Dogbert says, "Yes, the same jet that took you on a fact-finding trip to Aruba, you wool-coated glob of fat." Dogbert says, "Bring it on! I can do this all day." Man says, "I yield my time to the hypocrite from another state."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 28, 2009's comic on:


Tags #worker, #deception, #lying

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "Dilbert, meet our new director of marketecture." The boss says, "He's in charge of preventing customers from realizing what they're buying." the boss says, "It's legal because we're only violating the intent of the law." man says, "I can do a thousand push-ups when no one is looking."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 11, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #coworker, #crazy, #shouting, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "I'm one of those people who can't explain things without a whiteboard, but I'll try." Man says, the?uh?fug?fuh?wah?um?thingamajig?fuh?fuh?eh?" Dilbert says, "Worst case I've seen." Man says, "Yee?woo?ee-yi-ee-yi-moo?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 13, 2009's comic on:


Tags #legal advise, #economy, #pay

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok the intern says, "Pssst! I'm doing black market I.T. support to make up for my recent cut in pay." Man says, "Isn't this illegal?" Asok the intern, "Not according to my black market company lawyer." Alice says, "So it's legal to punch vendors?" Dogbert says, "Sure, if they deserve it." Dogbert says, "That's $100, please."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 28, 2009's comic on:


Tags #negotiations, #unfair, #greed, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the CEO man says, "The union will agree to deep cuts if you agree to work for one dollar per year." Dogbert says, "I agree, as long as I get my pay in advance and the mandatory retirement age is waived." Man says, "Fine." Dogbert says, "Call payroll and tell them to cut a check for my next ten billion years of service."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 30, 2009's comic on:


Tags #interview, #hiring, #policy, #cruelty

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss says, "You're hired, but company policy requires me to post the job opening internally before it's official." Man says, "Are you saying your company policy requires you to lie to employees and give them false hope?" The boss says, "Exactly." Man says,. "That's cruel." The boss says, "In six months you'll wish you had some false hope too."