Full Time Employees Comic Strips - Page 96

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View 951 - 960 results for full time employees comic strips. Discover the best "Full Time Employees" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 19, 1999's comic on:


Tags #analysis, #ask unnecessary cahnges, #stop ahead, #analysis unnecessary, #science

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The Boss comes into Wally's cubicle and asks, "Wally, did you finish the analysis for tomorrow?" Wally answers, "No." Wally continues, "I'm waiting until the last minute so you won't have time to ask for unnecessary changes." The Boss walks away and thinks, "I'm already one step ahead of him- the analysis itself is unnecessary."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 03, 1999's comic on:


Tags #boss is away, #unscrupulous, #employee, #send email, #account, #odd looking nostrils

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Wally looks into the boss' office. Wally thinks, "The boss is away." Wally stands by the boss' desk and thinks, "An unscrupulous employee could send e-mail from his account." Wally types at the boss' computer "The following employees have odd-looking nostrils."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 03, 1999's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #evil director, #training classes, #skilled, #better job, #secret untraining method, #hammer, #head, #hit on head

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Caption "Catbert: evil h.r. director" Catbert looks into Asok's cubicle. Catbert says, "Asok, you have taken too many training classes." Asok says, "Too many?" Catbert says, "You're too skilled now. There's a risk you'll leave for a better job." Asok stands blind folded. Catbert holds a huge hammer above his head. Asok says, "Does the "secret untraining method' work every time?" Catbert says, "I've never tried it before."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 04, 1999's comic on:


Tags #dogbert consults, #teflon, #body, #shake well, #before using

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Caption "Dogbert Consults" Dogbert hands the boss a spray can. dogbert says, "Spray this Teflon on your body to better ignore the input of your subordinates." The boss sprays. The boss now has a pan for a head. Dogbert says, "Next time, shake well before useing." The boss says, "Who cares what you say?!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 21, 1999's comic on:


Tags #ram cache, #better engineer, #boss, #time line chart, #circuit design, #who knows more

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The boss stands behind Dilbert's cubicle and pionts at the screen. The boss says, "Now move the other thing next to the other thing and label it "ram cache." The boss says, "I'm your boss, so it stands to reason that I'm a better engineer than you." Dilbert says, "I'm telling you I'm working on my timeline chart." The boss says, "No, I'm sure that's a circuit design."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 03, 1999's comic on:


Tags #dogberts tech support, #upgrade software, #old software, #back up data, #delete it yourself

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Caption: "Dogbert's tech support" Dogbert talks on the phone at a computer. Dogbert says, "If you upgrade your software, all of your data will be lost." Dogbert says, "But if you don't upgrade, the old software will corrupt your data one bit at a time." Dogbert says, "And if you try to back up your data, our software will hunt you down and bit-slap you until you delete it yourself."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 10, 1999's comic on:


Tags #meet with vendor, #plan, #executives, #reason, #complete waste, #perfromance review

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The boss and Dilbert are in a meeting. The boss says, "Meet with our vendor and come up with a plan. I'll do the same with their executives." Dilbert says, "Can you see any reason why MY meeting might be a complete waste of time?" The boss says, "Sure, lots of them, but I'm planning to spring those on you during your performance review."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 11, 1999's comic on:


Tags #freak accident, #ask marketing, #new copy, #queen bee

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Wally and dilbert stand in front of the boss. Their shirts are torn and dirty, thier faces are burnt and cut. Dilbert says, "The huge product requirements document was destroyed in a freak accident." The boss says, "I'll ask marketing to send you a new copy." As Dilbert and Wally walk away, wally says, "I told you we can't stop them one-bee-at-a-time. We have to go for the queen."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 14, 1999's comic on:


Tags #dark in offcie, #logging electricity, #doubled clicked

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The boss stand behind DIlbert who works at his computer. The boss says, "It seems a bit dark in my office today." The boss says, "I think you employees are hogging all the electricity." The boss says, "You just double-clicked! I heard it!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 21, 1999's comic on:


Tags #cat bert, #evil, #eliminate traces, #individuality, #computer wallpaper, #helium

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Caption: "Catbert: Evil H.R. Director" Catbert types, "In order to eliminate all traces of individuality..." Dilbert reads, "All computer wallpaper must be the same." Dilbert thinks, "What next?" Catbert thinks, "In theory, with helium, the employees would all sound alike."