Good Or Evil Comic Strips - Page 96
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The Boss says, "I think I died. Am I in heaven or hell?" Raj says, "You're in Helvin. My name is Raj." Raj says, "Heaven and hell have been outsourcing souls to us since the demons and angels unionized." The Boss says, "So? is this place good or bad?" Raj says, "Well, you get a harp, but you won't like how we give it to you."
Wally says, "It's good Feng Shui to stand next to you because you absorb the workflow energy." Alice says, "What?" The Boss says, "I need someone to check all of these design specs before tomorrow morning." Wally says, "Some people call it superstition, but I'm pretty sure it's a science."
Dilbert says, "I've been asked to explain our technical issue in terms you can understand." Logan says, "Good." Dilbert says, "THE SOFTWARE, IT NO WORKY!!!" Dilbert says, "He was dense and touchy. It's a bad combination."
CEO says, "This rope is attached to a crony from my last CEO job." CEO says, "Give it a good yank and reel him in. He's your new boss." The Boss says, "Is he qualified for the job?" CEO says, "Like a monkey with a hammer!"
The New VP The Boss says, "Don't worry that I wanted your job, or that you have no experience in this field." The Boss says, "I won't try to sabotage you. In fact, I'll send you my best engineer to bring you up to speed." Vice President says, "So... it's called 4G because it's G-G-G-Good." Wally says, "Something like that."
Asok says, "I probably shouldn't have gone to a veterinarian for my nose job." Asok says, "But as an engineer, I value function over form, and the airflow is actually quite good." Dilbert says, "You might be rationalizing a little." Asok says, "I pity you with your inefficient nostrils."
Dogbert's Tech Support Dogbert says, "Email me a list of the things you already tried." Dogbert says, "I'll go down the list and make you try every single thing again, sometimes more than once." Dogbert says, "And take your time because I'm reading a really good book online."
Catbert says, "We can keep our payroll expenses low by giving employees bad reviews." Catbert says, "Use this list of employee defects so you don't repeat yourself. It's less obvious this way." The Boss says, "Awkward, bumbling, cowardly, dumb?" Dilbert says, "My faults are suspiciously alphabetical."
Wally says, "What's more important- our core systems or our key processes?" Wally says, "If there's no clear answer to that question, I'll continue to act randomly." The Boss says, "Get out of my office." Wally says, "The open door policy probably looked good on paper."
Dogbert says, "Welcome to Dogbert's school of time management." Dogbert says, "Today you will learn that rudeness and good time management are the same thing." Man says, "Answer my #@*% question!" Dogbert says, "Keep typing, Beverly! He doesn't exist."