Infinity Plus One Comic Strips - Page 96
Search Filters
Year
- 2021
- 2020
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
1000 Results for Infinity Plus One
View 951 - 960 results for infinity plus one comic strips. Discover the best "Infinity Plus One" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday February 16,
2004
Tags #consultant, #create, #disruptive innovations, #dogbert consults, #redefine market, #business
Transcript
DOGBERT CONSULTS Dogbert: "To survive, you must create disruptive innovations that redefine the market." wally: "Does that mean the same thing as 'sell things people want'?" Dogbert: "There's one big difference." wally: "You only get paid if you say it in a funny way?" dogcart: "I like to think disruptively innovative."
Friday February 20,
2004
Tags #sycophant school, #agree with superiors, #make statements, #fake smiles, #paid 400x more, #look at faces, #rude, #teaching, #aggressive, #education
Transcript
SYCOPHANT SCHOOL "You must learn to agree with your superiors no matter what they say." "For practice, I'll make statements and you agree. Remember to use your fake smiles." "Statement one: I should be paid 400 times more than you because I have to look at your faces."
Monday March 01,
2004
Tags #too many managers, #aspect manager, #corproaret objective, #morale aspect, #bad coice, #dread
Transcript
CEO: "We have too many managers, so I'm making you an aspect manager." "You'll be in charge of one aspect of a corporate objective." The Boss: "Please just fire me." CEO: "Your aspect will be morale."
Thursday March 11,
2004
Tags #repeat customer, #rate of recidivism, #focus on marketing, #learn from experience, #free knuckle tattoo, #nicknames for women, #free book, #criminals, #dumb
Transcript
The boss: "We only have a 10% repeat customer rate whereas prisons have a 70% rate of recidivism." "We need to focus our marketing on criminals because they don't learn from experience." "Order now and get a free knuckle tattoo plus our free book 1,001 nicknames for women."
Friday March 19,
2004
Tags #gerbil, #marketing team, #cables, #engineering support
Transcript
Ted: I moved the meeting to Tuesday. Dilbert: "I can't make it on Tuesday." " Ted: Somehow I think the marketing team can survive one meeting without engineering support." Marketing team: "We'll include a pet gerbil in every box. We'll just need to make sure it's in a sealed plastic bag so it won't chew on the cables."
Tuesday March 23,
2004
Tags #speak at school, #sons school, #disguise bitterness, #punish son, #honored to speak
Transcript
Carol: "Would you consider speaking at my son's school on career day?" "I'd do it myself, but I can't disguise the bitterness and despair that gnaw at my soul." "Plus my son has been bad and I told him I'd punish him." The boss: "I'd be honored to speak."
Thursday April 08,
2004
Tags #borrow chair, #leave callateral, #financial officer
Transcript
Financial officer: "May I borrow your chair for a meeting?" Dilbert: "Okay, but leave your wallet, keys, company ID, and one shoe with me." Financial officer: "I'm your chief financial officer." Dilbert: "Then I also need your PDA and one sock."
Monday April 19,
2004
Tags #real estate, #sell house, #agent, #doesn't know maybe, #moving fast, #control process, #escrow closes
Transcript
Dilbert: "Maybe I should sell this house and get a newer one." Dogbert: "I'll be the real estate agent." Dilbert: "I said maybe." Dogbert: "A good real estate agent doesn't know the meaning of that word." Dilbert: "Things are moving too fast. I've lost control of the process." Dogbert: "Pack your stuff, waffler. Escrow closes in ten days."
Tuesday April 27,
2004
Tags #suggestion box, #more money wanted, #all say money, #reading
Transcript
"Here are all the suggestions from the suggestion box." "Give us more money.Give us more money. Give us more money. Give us more money. Hey, hears one with a little diagram." "The wavy lines means it's hot there." "Is that why the pointy haired guy is sad?"
Friday April 30,
2004
Tags #least popular feature, #generate revenue, #save money, #steal idea
Transcript
Dilbert: I recommend that we eliminate the least popular features because they cost us more than they generate in revenue. The Boss: I have an idea. Lets laminate the least popular features to save money. Dilbert: I suggest that we eliminate the least popular features . The Boss: I steal that idea to infinity.