Later Say Misinterpreted Comic Strips - Page 96

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Later Say Misinterpreted

View 951 - 960 results for later say misinterpreted comic strips. Discover the best "Later Say Misinterpreted" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 06, 2018's comic on:


Tags #insurance, #humiliation, #death, #scam, #darwin awards, #spin, #headline, #media, #Entertainment, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Would you like to buy an insurance policy to protect against a humorous death? Boss: Why would I need it? Dogbert: well, let's say you're at the zoo and you drop your sunglasses into the lion pit. You lower yourself into the pit to get the sunglasses, but the lions get to you first. You don't want the headlines to read "Pointy-haired Idiot Mauled To Death By The King Of The Jungle." So instead, the moment you die, my agents rush in to create a narrative for the media. In this case, we might spin the story as "Local Man Teaches Zoo How To Reduce Food Costs." Boss: Are the policies affordable? Dogbert: Yes, if you waive the coverage for mascot-related deaths.

Dilbert Tries To Gaslight

Thank you for voting.
Dilbert Tries To Gaslight - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 11, 2018's comic on:


Tags #conspiracy, #aspersions, #paranoia, #accusation, #rumor, #gaslighting

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: How conspiracy theories happen. Boss: Alice says you're trying to cover up the fact that you deleted her files. Dilbert: I didn't delete her files. You're both insane. Alice: What did he say? Boss: He tried to gaslight me. That proves he's guilty. Narrator: Continued...

Customers Work For Free

Thank you for voting.
Customers Work For Free - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 03, 2018's comic on:


Tags #test, #big business, #money, #savings, #obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Did anyone test our user interface before we shipped it? Boss: No, our customers will tell us what they don't like about it. And they work for free. Alice: That isn't right. Boss: That's what our customers say, too, and unlike you, they work for free.

Dating A Skeleton

Thank you for voting.
Dating A Skeleton - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 05, 2018's comic on:


Tags #sex, #dating, #relationships, #questioning, #desperation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do you mind if I ask you a personal question? Skeleton: Go ahead. But if you ask me if I'm dead, there is no chance I'll be rattling bones with you later. What's your question? Dilbert: It can wait until tomorrow.

Our Api

Thank you for voting.
Our Api - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 09, 2018's comic on:


Tags #hackers, #hacking, #api, #jargon, #obliviousness, #language

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: Dogbert The Reporter. Dogbert: How did hackers get access to your customer data? CEO: I'm told they used something called "our A.P.I." to suck out all the data. Dogbert: I'll just say you'er stupid. CEO: Why does everyone always say that?

Do Not Implicate Boss

Thank you for voting.
Do Not Implicate Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 15, 2018's comic on:


Tags #sick, #sickness, #illness, #contagious, #deadline, #responsibility, #accountability, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My project is two weeks late because you came to work two weeks ago and gave me the flu. Boss: Do you have any excuses that don't implicate me as the main problem? Dilbert: How about I say I didn't feel motivated and leave it otherwise vague? Boss: I can work with that.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 03, 2018's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #productivity, #progress, #project, #deception

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I finished my project! Dilbert: Shhhh! Don't let anyone hear you say that. Only one of two things can come of it. Either you'll get more work or you'll get fired for not having enough work. Asok: Then how does anyone ever finish a project around here? Wally: We don't. We manipulate our boss into adding features so our projects are never complete. Asok: Is that hard to do? Dilbert: Not as hard as you might hope. Asok: How do you like the prototype so far? Boss: It needs a red button and some cooling fins.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 01, 2018's comic on:


Tags #argument, #arguing, #accusation, #social media, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Why did you say we don't have a budget for our project? Dilbert: I never said that. Man: Then why did you say the project isn't feasible? Dilbert: I never said anything like that. Man: But you did say you thought it would take ten years to finish? Dilbert: I've never said anything like that. Man: Hahaha! You're in total meltdown mode now. Dilbert: I already forgot what we were talking about. Boss: How was your talk with Dilbert? Man: He's backpedaling after I totally owned him.

Dilbert Speaks Truth To Power

Thank you for voting.
Dilbert Speaks Truth To Power - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 14, 2018's comic on:


Tags #award, #irony, #honesty, #truth

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Dilbert gets the Employee Of The Year award for speaking truth to power. Dilbert: Thanks, but all I do is agree with whatever ridiculous thing you say because it's just easier that way. Boss: Just take the stupid award! Dilbert: I'm honored.

No Path To Victory

Thank you for voting.
No Path To Victory - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 30, 2018's comic on:


Tags #catch-22, #laziness, #request

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: Do you have a minute? Wally: Can I get back to you? Woman: If I say yes, I will never hear from you. But if I say no, I'll look like a pushy jerk. I don't see a path to victory here. Wally: Have you tried lowering your expectations?