Man Is Brief Comic Strips - Page 96

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Man Is Brief

View 951 - 960 results for man is brief comic strips. Discover the best "Man Is Brief" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #ridiculous, #explanation, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Sorry I'm late. My company cut the travel budget so I had to hitch a ride with a serial killer." Dilbert says, "He took me to an abandoned slaughterhouse. I knocked him out with a hambone, stole his truck and drove directly here." Man says, "All I heard was 'Blah, blah, blah, I'm late.'" Dilbert says, "Don't make me get my hambone."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Politics, #hearing, #argument, #economy

View Transcript

Transcript

Bailout hearings Man says, "Mr. Dogbert, did you fly here in a corporate jet?" Dogbert says, "Yes, the same jet that took you on a fact-finding trip to Aruba, you wool-coated glob of fat." Dogbert says, "Bring it on! I can do this all day." Man says, "I yield my time to the hypocrite from another state."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #worker, #deception, #lying

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "Dilbert, meet our new director of marketecture." The boss says, "He's in charge of preventing customers from realizing what they're buying." the boss says, "It's legal because we're only violating the intent of the law." man says, "I can do a thousand push-ups when no one is looking."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #coworker, #crazy, #shouting, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "I'm one of those people who can't explain things without a whiteboard, but I'll try." Man says, the?uh?fug?fuh?wah?um?thingamajig?fuh?fuh?eh?" Dilbert says, "Worst case I've seen." Man says, "Yee?woo?ee-yi-ee-yi-moo?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #legal advise, #economy, #pay

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok the intern says, "Pssst! I'm doing black market I.T. support to make up for my recent cut in pay." Man says, "Isn't this illegal?" Asok the intern, "Not according to my black market company lawyer." Alice says, "So it's legal to punch vendors?" Dogbert says, "Sure, if they deserve it." Dogbert says, "That's $100, please."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #negotiations, #unfair, #greed, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the CEO man says, "The union will agree to deep cuts if you agree to work for one dollar per year." Dogbert says, "I agree, as long as I get my pay in advance and the mandatory retirement age is waived." Man says, "Fine." Dogbert says, "Call payroll and tell them to cut a check for my next ten billion years of service."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #interview, #hiring, #policy, #cruelty

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss says, "You're hired, but company policy requires me to post the job opening internally before it's official." Man says, "Are you saying your company policy requires you to lie to employees and give them false hope?" The boss says, "Exactly." Man says,. "That's cruel." The boss says, "In six months you'll wish you had some false hope too."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hiring, #interview, #strategy

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "I'm hiring you because you're huge and scary." The boss says, "Our economic forecast calls for the emergence of warlords in 2010." The boss says, "Have you ever pillaged?" Man says, "No, I just go on fake interviews to scope out targets."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #future, #prediction, #bleak, #scary

View Transcript

Transcript

Company Economist Man says, "In 2010 the economy will collapse and the world will plunge into darkness." Man says, "You will all be eaten by cannibals who will, in turn, die from the diseases that riddle your bodies." The boss says, "Please never talk again." Man says, "I get that a lot lately."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #presentation, #theory, #ridiculous, #avoiding, #economy

View Transcript

Transcript

Company Economist Man says, "The economy will either recover ot not." Man says, "Unless time itself is an illusion, in which case all matter is either stationary or imagined." Man says, "I'd take questions, but I'm not entirely sure you're real."