Never Appear Less Valuable Comic Strips - Page 96
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958 Results for Never Appear Less Valuable
View 951 - 958 results for never appear less valuable comic strips. Discover the best "Never Appear Less Valuable" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday February 04,
2021
Wally's Success
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #track, #success, #work, #correlation, #working, #sarcasm, #unproductive
Transcript
wally: i've been tracking my successes at work relative to my efforts, and i see no correlation. so if you see me not working hard, you should assume everything is fine. boss: you've never had a success to track. wally: i was hoping you didn't know that.
Wednesday February 17,
2021
Worth Praising
Tags #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #business, #human relations, #positive, #reinforcement, #praise worthy, #praise, #leader, #first
Transcript
wally: you never give me any positive reinforcement. boss: first you have to do something worth praising. wally: you can't call yourself a leader if you make me go first.
Monday April 05,
2021
Cameras Can See You
Tags #business, #business ethics, #technology, #hackers, #camera, #digital device, #skills, #detection, #performance, #review, #minutes, #laptop, #coffee
Transcript
boss and wally on video call. wally: did you know hackers can see you and hear you through the cameras on your digital devices? in fact, someone with my skills could do it in minutes and never be detected. boss: what are you trying to tell me? wally: it's just something to keep in mind when you do my performance review.
Tuesday April 13,
2021
Pretending To Listen
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #laptop, #pretending, #listening, #camera, #look, #zoom, #anger, #video call, #boss, #easy, #golden age
Transcript
boss on video call. boss: some of you are only pretending to be paying attention to this zoom call. boss yelling: you're still doing it! stop it! look into the camera!!! dilbert at home. dilbert: pretending to listen to your boss has never been easier. dogbert: golden age!
Sunday May 16,
2021
Wally Works At Home Unsafely
Tags #business, #technology, #warning, #unsafe, #workplace, #work at home, #remote, #live, #judging, #personality, #toxic, #dump, #lazy, #clean, #lucky, #guess, #neighbors, #curtains, #laptop
Transcript
wally on video call with catbert: catbert: i'm issuing you a warning for your unsafe workplace. wally: i work from home. you've never seen where i live. catbert: i'm judging by your personality. you're too lazy to clean anything up, so by now it's a toxic dump. wally: that's a lucky guess. catbert: and you're too lazy to close your curtains, so by now your neighbors want to murder you. wally: that's two lucky guesses.
Thursday May 20,
2021
Ceo Speaks Out
Tags #business, #business ethics, #political issues, #stock, #stock market, #plunged, #voice, #injustice, #bonus, #million, #dollars, #Advice
Transcript
catbert: our stock plunged 30% because you spoke out on a political issue. ceo: no one can silence my voice when i see a great injustice. catbert: this will cost you your entire bonus of $10 million. ceo: what if i agree to never speak again?
Saturday June 19,
2021
Potted Plant
Tags #business, #communication, #job, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #employees, #feelings, #potted plant, #new, #boss
Transcript
ceo: the only reason you have a job is so i don't have to talk to employees. but i still talk to you every day, so i hired a potted plant to be your new boss. boss: i feel deeply insulted. ceo: see? a plant would never feel that way.