Office Efficency Comic Strips - Page 96
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996 Results for Office Efficency
View 951 - 960 results for office efficency comic strips. Discover the best "Office Efficency" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday September 03,
2020
Boss Not Returning Messages
Tags #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #business, #boss, #fire, #message, #importance, #sarcasm, #employment, #face mask
Transcript
asok: our pointy-haired boss isn't returning my messages, do you think he plans to fire me? dilbert: no asok: phew! good. dilbert: you're just totally unimportant to him. asok: yes! that's where i want to be!
Friday September 04,
2020
Compared To Alice
Tags #business, #comparision, #face mask, #good, #office workers, #punish, #sarcasm, #selfish, #tragic, #work
Transcript
alice: you did great work on this...which has the tragic effect of making my work look less good in comparison. dilbert: will you be punishing me for my good work? alice: yes, but think of it as you not being selfish.
Saturday September 05,
2020
Lifetime Of Being Wrong
Tags #business, #office workers, #wrong, #decision, #career, #assess, #life, #sarcasm, #face mask
Transcript
dilbert: i think you're wrong. co-worker: what error did i make? dilbert: i'm basing my decision on your entire career of being wrong about everything. i hope i'm not the first person to point that out. co-worker: give a minute to reassess my entire life.
Sunday September 27,
2020
The Timing Trick
Tags #office workers, #timing, #trick, #neighborhood, #visit, #estimate, #eta, #home, #cancel, #promise, #late, #face mask
Transcript
tina: i'll be in your neighborhood saturday, maybe i'll stop by. dilbert: i'm not falling for that trick. tina: what trick? dilbert: the trick where you give me an estimated time and then push it back seven times until you cancel. i'll be stuck waiting at home until my whole day is wasted. tina: i promise i won't do that. i'll stick to the time. dilbert: what time is that? tina: depends how my day goes. dilbert thinking: and so it begins. tina: i'll text you if i'm running late.
Monday September 07,
2020
Reasonable Doubt
Tags #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #employees, #health, #leader, #coronavirus, #indoor, #face mask, #kill, #doubt, #sarcasm
Transcript
Carol: that stupid coronavirus is no match for a healthy, young leader such as yourself. freedom demands that you go to crowded indoor places without wearing your mask. boss: are you trying to kill me? carol: i'd say there's reasonable doubt.
Saturday September 12,
2020
Augmented Reality
Tags #office workers, #business, #introduction, #reality, #glasses, #social media, #history, #impressions, #dumb, #face mask
Transcript
girl: my name is ... dilbert: stop right there. my augmented reality glasses are showing me your entire social media history. girl: i hope it makes a good first impression. dilbert yelling: my god, you are dumb!
Sunday October 04,
2020
Golden Age For Wally
Tags #6 feet, #avoid, #coffee, #eye contact, #face mask, #grocery shopping, #office workers, #social distancing, #upgrade, #Women
Transcript
wally at coffee pot talking to Dilbert:: social distancing has been a great upgrade to my life. in the old days, women avoided me by at least ten feet. now i often get within seven. i think it's because i'm better-looking with most of my face covered. especially if i wear a hat and sunglasses. and i learned that women will talk to me if i walk the wrong way down a grocery aisle. they're usually complaining but at least they make eye contact. it's sort of a golden age for people like me.
Monday September 21,
2020
Conflict Resolution
Tags #managers & supervisors, #anger, #office workers, #conflict, #resolution, #discussion, #temperature, #idiots, #yammering, #sarcasm, #insult
Transcript
boss: i couldn't help noticing you are having a heated discussion. watch me use my conflict resolution skills to lower the temperature. okay, what were you idiots yammering about? tina: solid start.
Saturday September 26,
2020
Karma And Wally
Tags #business, #family & parenting, #office workers, #name, #karma, #Advice, #discuss, #face mask
Transcript
wally: why did your parents name you karma? karma: i don't have parents. i am karma. wally: i suppose we have lots to discuss. karma: let's start with volume one.
Tuesday September 29,
2020
Critics Not Intelligent
Tags #intelligence, #office workers, #employees, #smart, #critics, #agreement, #face mask
Transcript
alice: i've noticed that none of my critics are intelligent. smart people always seem to agree with me. dilbert: what makes you think they are smart? alice: because they agree with me. i have to give you a maskless "duh" for that. alice pulls off face mask: duh!