Shake Well Comic Strips - Page 96

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

957 Results for Shake Well

View 951 - 957 results for shake well comic strips. Discover the best "Shake Well" comics from Dilbert.com.

Quarantine Before Date

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Quarantine Before Date  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #date, #desperation, #dinner, #office workers, #quarantine, #technology, #two weeks

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: would you like to go to dinner with me? women: only if you self-quarantine for two weeks first. dilbert: can do! women: well, it seems i underestimated your desperation.

Dilbert Tells The Odds

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Tells The Odds - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #decision, #estimate, #managers & supervisors, #miscommunication, #odds, #technology, #wrong

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i estimate odds at a 70% chance things go well, and a 30% chance we lose money on the deal. boss: if we lose money, will you admit you were wrong? dilbert: how could i be wrong? i'm just telling you the odds. boss: if we lose money, that's on you for recommending it. dilbert: um...no. i'm telling you the odds and letting you decide. boss: but you're the one saying this is such a great deal. dilbert upsetting and yelling forcing face mask off his face: i'm only telling you the odds, you pea-brained ignoramus!!! boss: so, you won't admit you were wrong? dilbert's face mask is over his eyes.

Reasonable Assumptions

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 Reasonable Assumptions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #plan, #reasonable, #unreasonable, #assumptions, #job, #face mask, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert wearing face mask: i ran the numbers, and your plan does not work under any reasonable set of assumptions. boss wearing face mask: have you tried "unreasonable assumptions?" dilbert: why would i do that? boss: well, to keep your job, for example.

No Raise In Years

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
No Raise In Years   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #job, #raise, #nine, #years, #face mask, #employment

View Transcript

Transcript

office worker: i've been working here for nine years, and you haven't given me a single raise! boss: i didn't even know you worked for me. obviously, you didn't do anything useful, or i would have noticed. office worker: well, in that case, i'm glad i didn't give my name.

Dilbert Can Answer Questons

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 Dilbert Can Answer Questons  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #answer, #business, #delegate, #face mask, #managers & supervisors, #meeting, #project, #question, #sarcasm, #awkward

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: dilbert can answer any of your questions, but i have another meeting. dilbert: not really. i have no involvement in the project. he just told me to follow him to this room. co-worker: well, this is awkward. dilbert: how about i go to the restroom and never come back?

Ted Takes Selfie With Bear

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ted Takes Selfie With Bear  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #selfie, #picture, #wild, #bear, #success, #techology, #business, #face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: did you hear ted took a selfie with a wild bear? dilbert: wow. where can i see that picture? wally: you'd need to ask the bear. it didn't go well.

Survivor Guilt

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Survivor Guilt  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coronavirus, #managers & supervisors, #business, #double, #income, #pandemic, #covid, #survivor guilt, #sympathy, #face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

ceo: well, i personally doubled my income during the pandemic. now i have a bad case of survivor guilt. dilbert: do you expect to get much sympathy for that? ceo: i won't know until i try.