Skip Staff Meeting Comic Strips - Page 96

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Skip Staff Meeting

View 951 - 960 results for skip staff meeting comic strips. Discover the best "Skip Staff Meeting" comics from Dilbert.com.

The Boss's Feng Shui And Aura

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Boss's Feng Shui And Aura - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags horoscope, Astrology, prediction, fortune, nonsense

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: Ooh. Bad news on your horoscope today. Your moon is intersecting with the feng shui of your aura. Boss: How long do I have? Carol: You'll be dead by noon. Boss: I meant until my next meeting.

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Network Is Slow

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Network Is Slow - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bandwidth, network, speed, nsfw, videos, internet, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Why is our network so slow today? Dilbert: I'll check. Okay, it seems that 75 percent of the staff is viewing inappropriate videos. Boss: That's all I wanted to do, too.

Two Ways To Avoid Listening

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Two Ways To Avoid Listening - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, mentor, listening, attention

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: There are two good ways to avoid listening to others. 1.) Do all of the talking yourself, and 2:) be too busy to listen. Asok: That sounds simplistic. Wally: I'm late for a meeting.

The Comparison Problem

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Comparison Problem - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags entrepreneur, comparison, power, money, perspective, happiness, psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: How'd it go when you told your staff to act more like entrepreneurs? Boss: Not so good. They were happier when they were comparing their careers to other people in cubicles. Dilbert: What?! This idiot is worth a billion dollars now??? Asok: Gaaa!!! I'm a failure!

Boss Freestyles With Jargon

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Freestyles With Jargon - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags language, jargon, managers, leadership, nonsense, gibberish

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I forgot to make an agenda for this meeting, so I'll just freestyle it with jargon. Let's do a deep dive in the big data and drill down until we hyperlocalize some disruptive technologies. That's enough leadership. Now the rest of you need something to do.

Electric Car Project

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Electric Car Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags manager, labor, time, time management, obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Welcome to the first meeting of our project to design an electric car. We've never tried to build an electric car, but how hard could it be? Dilbert: It's very hard. Boss: It doesn't feel that way. My part is mostly talk.

Meet At My Office

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Meet At My Office - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, schedule, time, wasting time, selfish, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Computer: Let's meet at my office on Friday. Dilbert: Sure. Or... you could waste your day traveling to my office instead. Computer: You're being a jerk. Dilbert: You started it.

Mandatory Safety Meeting

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Mandatory Safety Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags safety, catch-22, choosing, unsafe

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You have to go to a mandatory safety training class right now. Dilbert: Is it safe for me to miss the deadline you gave me for this assignment? Boss: No, you lose either way. Dilbert: Hmm. Maybe I could work all night from home then drive to work exhausted.

Dilbert Falls Asleep At The Wheel

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Falls Asleep At The Wheel - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags safety, catch-22, fatigue, accident, driving

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I fell asleep at the wheel because I stayed up all night to meet your deadline. I had to work all night because you made me attend a mandatory safety meeting yesterday. But at least I got my work done on time. Boss: I forgot to tell you the meeting got moved to next week.

Picking The Spaceship Staff

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Picking The Spaceship Staff - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags space, space flight, rocket, death, sacrifice, astronaut, medical

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: How's the Mars spaceship project going? Boss: Good. I picked our worst employees to be on the first test flight, just in case it explodes. CEO: Good thinking. Boss: We have two ways to win and no way to lose.