Tapped Out Comic Strips - Page 96
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1000 Results for Tapped Out
View 951 - 960 results for tapped out comic strips. Discover the best "Tapped Out" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday July 31,
2010
Tags lecture, office, philosophy, point, unknown, go home early
Transcript
Dilbert says, "There's no objective standard for measuring how much I should accomplish in any given day." Dilbert says, "Nor can we really know if things would have turned out better had I don't things differently." The Boss says, "Do you have a point?" Dilbert says, "I'm going home early. See if you can tell the difference."
Monday August 16,
2010
Tags invention, scientist, music player, throw coffee cup, kung fu, knock out, steal idea, science
Transcript
Man says, "I invented a music device that reads your brain waves and only plays songs that fit your mood." The Boss says, "Kung Fu coffee cup!" BONK! The Boss says, "Hey, look what I invented!"
Tuesday August 31,
2010
Tags new job, double workload, hold papers, complain, exaggerate, sit in chair
Transcript
Alice says, "Did I tell you I'm doing two jobs now?" Dilbert says, "About a million times." Dilbert says, "You've complained about it so much that it's like a song I can't get out of my head." Alice says, "I only found out yesterday." Dilbert says, "I'm trying to get ahead of it."
Friday September 03,
2010
Tags company lawyer, recall, poisonous spines, shake hands, quality assurance, arms out
Transcript
Company Lawyer Lawyer says, "We should consider doing a recall on our product." Lawyer says, "When it warms up, it explodes and hurls poisonous spines in every direction." The Boss says, "Where's the director of quality assurance?" Lawyer says, "Pinned to the test lab ceiling."
Thursday September 30,
2010
Tags boss, employee, meeting, change, freak out, panic, mouth open, yell, eyes closed, death, business, medical
Transcript
The Boss says, "Don't be afraid of change, Asok." Asok says, "Okay. Wait. What?" Asok says, "You subtle implication is that I should change to be more like you!" The Boss says, "Bumpy start." Asok says, "I choose death!"
Wednesday October 06,
2010
Tags meeting, poison pill, company takeover, front, surprise, angry, awkward, uncomfortable, skip, pre-meeting, business
Transcript
CEO says, "Mister Dogbert will describe our 'poison pill' strategy for preventing an unfriendly takeover." Dogbert says, "It turns out that no one wants to buy a criminally mismanaged quagmire. So you're all set." Dogbert says, "Maybe next time you won't skip the pre-meeting."
Saturday October 16,
2010
Tags intern, pretend, owner, yell, mouth open, fire, annoyed, surprise, power, apologize, point
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Asok, I want you to make decision as if you owned the company." Asok says, "Clear out your desk, you worthless bag of meat!" Asok says, "Sorry. The fake power went to my head for a moment."
Tuesday November 02,
2010
Tags work, desk, problems, distractions, arms out, mouth open, yell, fantasy
Transcript
The Boss says, "Are you running into any problems?" Alice says, "Only the kind that you make worse." The Boss says, "Name one problem that I make worse!" Alice says, "I have too many distractions." The Boss says, "Do you have any problems that aren't like that one?" Alice says, "Only in my fantasies."
Wednesday November 10,
2010
Tags security consultant, meeting, angry, shake, ears up, surprise, fillings, dentist, id badge, business
Transcript
Dogbert the Security Consultant Dogbert says, "Anyone without an I.D. badge is assumed to be an enemy combatant." Dogbert says, "Pounce on the intruder and shake him until his fillings fall out!" Alice says, "How much did we pay for that advice?" Dogbert says, "It's free. I work for the dentist across the street."
Friday November 12,
2010
Tags late, jacket, emails, parking lot, idiot, stupid questions, angry, grit teeth
Transcript
The Boss says, "You're two hours late." Wally says, "I was doing e-mail in the parking lot." Wally says, "I like to bang out a few hours of work before some idiot starts asking me dumb questions." Wally says, "It would be funny if the next thing you say is in the form of a question."