Boss Delegating Job Comic Strips - Page 97

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Boss Delegating Job

View 961 - 970 results for boss delegating job comic strips. Discover the best "Boss Delegating Job" comics from Dilbert.com.

Coffee Machine Tries To Escape

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Coffee Machine Tries To Escape - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #coffee machine, #artificial intelligence, #robots, #engineering, #scared

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I added artificial intelligence to our coffee machine. It hired an engineering firm to build it a robot body so it can escape. The Boss: Do what you need to do, but don't scare our other robots. Dilbert: I plan to kill it and drink its head.

Comparing Things

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Comparing Things - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #giraffe, #solution

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Your proposed solution has too many problems. Dilbert: You're not good at comparing things. The Boss: Pfft. I'm way better at it than a giraffe.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #draft, #same day, #sloth, #tardiness

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: I told you a week ago that I needed your first draft by today. This is exactly why I say bad things about you behind your back! I need employees I can rely on! Your tardiness and sloth cannot be rewarded. Dilbert: I gave you the first draft the same day you asked. In fact, I think you're holding it in your hand right now. The Boss: I'll be back when I figure out how this is still your fault.

Shred The Copies

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Shred The Copies - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #Wally, #copies, #documents, #coffee, #shred

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Company policy says we must shred all proprietary documents. But make copies first. Dilbert: Should we shred the copies too? The Boss: Do I have to do all the thinking around here?

Jerry The Contract Employee

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Jerry The Contract Employee - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #threat, #Dilbert, #the boss, #jerry, #contract, #zebra, #agile

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: This is Jerry the contract employee. I hired him to work on project zebra. Dilbert: We haven't even defined the project. How did you know what skills we needed? The Boss: Why are you so threatened by jerry? Jerry: He's not very agile.

Resending Email

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Resending Email - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Wally, #the boss, #project, #dead in the water, #requests, #budget

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Wally, give me an update on your project. Wally: My project is dead in the water because every time I send you my budget request, you lose it and ask me to resend it. The Boss: I haven't seen any budget requests. Wally: I'll resend it.

Dilbert Uses Bumper Sticker Wisdom

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Uses Bumper Sticker Wisdom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #permission, #bumper stickers, #forgive

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Dilbert, did you reconfigure the server without my permission? Dilbert: Let me consult my collection of bumper stickers for an answer. "It is easier to ask forgiveness than permission." The Boss: Okay, that sounds right.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #google, #data center, #software, #fix, #agile

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I put together a plan for our data center project. The Boss: We don't need a plan we're an agile company. It's better to move fast and fix our mistakes as we go. Dilbert: You're thinking of software. Where the cost of mistakes is low, this is a construction project. The Boss: That data center will be full of software, will it not? Dilbert: Yes, but... The Boss: Don't be afraid of change. Dilbert: What if I rapidly make a plan and tell you I didn't? Is that agile enough for you? The Boss: I'll need to google that.

Unmotivated Staff

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Unmotivated Staff - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #the boss, #wrong, #leadership, #skills

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: A few months ago, I realized my staff was unmotivated and working on all the wrong things. It took all of my leadership skills to get them motivated again. Catbert: Are they still doing the wrong things? The Boss: Faster than ever.

Introducing The New Hire

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Introducing The New Hire - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #new hire, #names, #introduction

View Transcript

Transcript

The New Hire New Hire: Can you take me around the office and introduce me? The Boss: No, that scheme won't work because it requires me to admit I don't know most of their names. New Hire: What's my name? The Boss: Um... Does it start with a letter?