Help People Comic Strips - Page 97

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Help People

View 961 - 970 results for help people comic strips. Discover the best "Help People" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 16, 2004's comic on:


Tags #consultant, #create, #disruptive innovations, #dogbert consults, #redefine market, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

DOGBERT CONSULTS Dogbert: "To survive, you must create disruptive innovations that redefine the market." wally: "Does that mean the same thing as 'sell things people want'?" Dogbert: "There's one big difference." wally: "You only get paid if you say it in a funny way?" dogcart: "I like to think disruptively innovative."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 17, 2004's comic on:


Tags #pursue disruptive innovations.glorious, #fully funded, #amzing, #free from bureaucracy, #bean bag charis

View Transcript

Transcript

DOGBURT CONSULTS dogcart: "I recommend forming a separate group to pursue disruptive innovations." "It will be a glorious place: fully funded, amazing ambiance, brilliant people, free from bureaucracy." "Best of all, once a year they'll let you losers tour their work space and sit in their bean bag chairs."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 25, 2004's comic on:


Tags #boss, #closes door, #hobby, #hurting boss, #leaves office

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: "Every time our pointy haired boss leaves his office, I sneak in and seal an air hole." "I'm trying to see if he'll suffocate when he closes his door." "I've never had a hobby before. I can see why people like them."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 28, 2004's comic on:


Tags #dogbert consults, #easy financing, #price gouge, #leasing advice, #paying, #products

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert consults Dogbert: "You should offer your customers easy financing." "That disguises the true cost of your products so you can price-gouge and people will thank you." "How much are we paying you?" "I'm leasing my advice to you." "Thank you."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 13, 2004's comic on:


Tags #manipulate, #lying, #Advice, #mayo clinic, #victim to source

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: "You can manipulate people by lying about what other people said." "If your victim goes to the source and discovers your treachery, say, of course he tells you that." Dilbert: "Your advice doesn't sound healthy." Dogbert: "That's not what the Mayo Clinic said."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 15, 2004's comic on:


Tags #target market, #one customer, #10 thousand units, #shop carefully

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "Our target market is people who don't shop carefully." "Our product is designed to attack the user and force him to reorder." "We only have one customer but we've sold 10,000 units."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 17, 2004's comic on:


Tags #bowels of bureaucarzy, #payroll error, #crawling, #underground, #trolls, #bugs, #bones, #glaring, #hellish

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I don't like the looks of this. BUREACRACY ASOK: I only want to correct a small payroll error. Can you help me? Troll: does it help if I glare ar you for disturbing my lunch?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 29, 2004's comic on:


Tags #televison show, #doctor dogbert, #lazy, #immoral, #fat morons

View Transcript

Transcript

"I plan to start my own television talk show." "I'll change my name to 'Doctor Dogbert' so people think I'm qualified to call them lazy, immoral fat morons." "You already call people those names." "Yeah, but I want them to thank me for it."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 06, 2004's comic on:


Tags #no frills airline, #$23 run to destinations, #crazy stuff, #saliva

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: "I plan to start my own no-frill airline." "For only $23, I'll let people hold out their arms and run to their destinations." "And they won't be allowed to eat or swallow their own saliva."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 06, 2004's comic on:


Tags #elbonia, #call center, #moved call centers, #anyone will notice, #disguised location

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "We've moved our call centers to Elbonia but we don't think anyone will notice." Elbonia: "Hello, how may I help you? My name is Kruphnehdahpheweundikaniswalyniaphorganopop." "I mean...Carl."