New Boss Comic Strips - Page 97

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for New Boss

View 961 - 970 results for new boss comic strips. Discover the best "New Boss" comics from Dilbert.com.

Ceo Understands Wally

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Understands Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags buzzwords, deception, economists, economy, jargon, chief economist, quarter, exchange rate, derivatives, yen, monetary policy

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our new Chief Economist, Wally, will tell us what to expect in the coming quarter. Wally: The exchange rate on derivatives will trigger a bubble in monetary policy and deflate the yen. CEO: I totally understand that and have no questions.Boss: Wow! He's good.

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

How Alice Can Disagree

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
How Alice Can Disagree - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Opinion, argument, disagreement, open-minded, dissenting opinion, sincerity

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Is there any way to disagree with your new strategy without making you angry? Boss: Blah blah I value all opinions. Blah blah open door policy. Blah blah dissenting opinions are good. Alice: None of that sounded sincere. Boss: Nailed it.

Boss Gets Standing Desk

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Gets Standing Desk - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags fads, desk, standing, health, fitness, office furniture, trends

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: The "standing desk" you ordered is here. I scheduled a mover to get rid of it tomorrow. Boss: Legs... so... tired. Carol: Don't slip on his tears.

Boss And Social Media

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss And Social Media - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags social media, twitter, facebook, passion, deception, trick, prank, obliviousness, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I don't get social media. How do I get followers? Wally: Easy. People care about passion. Find something you hate and write about it. Boss: Well, I don't like children. Wally: Perfect. And don't hold back.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags tagline, marketing, advertising, ad, ads, impossible, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We need a tagline for our new product. It should be no more than three words. It should convey an emotion. And it should clearly explain everything the product does. Dilbert: In three words? Boss :I didn't say it would be easy. Nike accomplished all of that with "Just do it." Dilbert: Did they? Because that seems like a generic thing you can say in any situation. Boss: Just do it! Alice: How about "Keep doing it?" Is that one taken?

Boss Survives Fall From Bridge

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Survives Fall From Bridge - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags accident, falling, walking, help, emergency, apathy, Sports

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I survived falling off the bridge when we were taking our long walk to discuss business. I ended up a mile downstream. That's probably why the search team didn't find me. Dilbert: Yup.

Nano Robots Are The New Health Plan

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Nano Robots Are The New Health Plan - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, robots, invention, health, big business, corporation, nanobot

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: We're replacing the employee health plan with nanorobot technology. We'll insert tiny medical robots into their lower digestive tracts to keep them healthy forever. Boss: So, our plan is to shove robots up... CEO: Only until the robots can replace them.

Dilbert Working On Boss's Side Job

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Working On Boss's Side Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work, labor, free, taking advantage, side job, boss, conflict of interest

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Did you finish the website I asked you to make for my side business? Dilbert: No, because you keep me busy 100 percent of the time in my regular job. Boss: Hey, it isn't easy asking for twice as many status updates either.

Boss Hoards Gold

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Hoards Gold - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags gold, hiding, secrets, foolish

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm smart because I'm hoarding gold just in case the world economy collapses. Dilbert: How many people have you told? Dilbert: Where is this heading? Dilbert: Do you still keep a spare key under your welcome mat?

Boss Hoards Gold Unless Hungry

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Hoards Gold Unless Hungry - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags gold, apocalypse, money, Food, priorities, hunger, fool

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You'll be sorry when the world economy collapses. But I'll be okay because I hoarded gold at my house. Alice: On day two, you'll trade all of it for a sandwich. Boss: Only if I'm hungry.