See And Hear Comic Strips - Page 97

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for See And Hear

View 961 - 970 results for see and hear comic strips. Discover the best "See And Hear" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dogbert Will Start Monday Or Tuesday

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Will Start Monday Or Tuesday - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #negotiation, #irony, #appointment, #deadline, #consultant, #training, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: Dogbert The Negotiation Trainer. Boss: We'll see you on Monday for our first lesson. Dogbert: Sure. I'll see you on Monday or Tuesday. Possibly Wednesday. Boss: We paid you to start on Monday. Dogbert: Think how much you'll learn when I don't show up.

Death By Ninjas Is Best

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Death By Ninjas Is Best - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ninja, #hit man, #optimism, #frustration, #irony

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Why aren't you worried about the Elbonian ninjas who are reportedly coming here to kill you in your sleep? Dilbert: That's the best way to die. I won't care about anything after I'm gone, so this is the ideal scenario for me. Elbonian 1: He's ruining everything with his cheery attitude. Elbonian 2: Let's see how he likes another thirty years in a cubicle.

Everything We Have Done Is Stupid

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Everything We Have Done Is Stupid - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mistake, #criticism, #obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I recently learned that everything we have been doing is stupid. Dilbert: Does that mean we'll be changing what we do? Boss: Let's see how far we can get by demonizing our critics first.

How About Lunch

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
How About Lunch - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #flirting, #rejection, #relationships, #obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Would you like to have a drink after work? Woman: I don't drink. Dilbert: How about lunch? Woman: I also don't eat. Do you see a pattern yet? Dilbert: You're an android?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #Wally, #goals, #employees, #accomplishing

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Did you achieve your goals this quarter? Wally: I sure did! Best quarter ever! The Boss: Really? I wasn't expecting that. Wally: What kind of manager has no faith in his employees? You need to trust me to do what needs to be done. The Boss: Um, okay, so... Which goals did you accomplish? Wally: You also need to trust your employees when they say they accomplished their goals. The Boss: I think I see where this is going. Wally: I was hoping you wouldn't.

Grant Application

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Grant Application  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #job, #job description, #responsibility, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need you to write a government grant application for my wife's new business. Dilbert: That's not my job, and I don't know how to do it. Boss: Maybe you could learn it in your free time. Dilbert: I can see why your wife wants her own income.

Wife Starts A Business

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wife Starts A Business - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #entrepreneur, #business, #divorce, #marriage, #assumption, #small business, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: My wife is starting her own business. Carol: I'm sorry to hear that. How many years have you been married? Boss: She's not leaving me. She's starting a business. Carol: Right. Don't talk about Phase 2. Got it.

Medical Phone Calls

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Medical Phone Calls - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #alice, #the boss, #doctor, #medical, #phone call, #boils, #conversation

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Hello, Doctor. Alice: Ugh. Can you please not have medical conversations where I can hear them? The Boss: Relax. It's only some projectile boils and their milky payload. Alice: I hate you.

Social Media Ads To Influence

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Social Media Ads To Influence - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #brain-reading, #computer, #social media, #profile, #friends, #testing, #influence, #cyborg, #ridiculous, #phone

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My brain-reading computer is checking your social media profile and finding your friends. I am now testing social media posts to see which ones influence them to recommend that to you date a cyborg. Woman: That's the most ridiculous thing I have ever. Dilbert: check your phone.

Hiring Paul The Criminal

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Hiring Paul The Criminal - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #job, #market, #competitive, #ex-cons, #work, #criminals, #caught, #paul, #data center, #copper, #wire

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: The job market is so competitive that we can't even find ex-cons who want to work here. So we're hiring active criminals who haven't yet been caught. The Boss: Say hello to Paul. Paul: I hear our data center has a a lot of copper wire.