Dont Breathe Comic Strips - Page 97

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Dont Breathe

View 961 - 970 results for dont breathe comic strips. Discover the best "Dont Breathe" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #job interview, #extra luck, #less available, #albert einstein, #hero, #critic of war, #jeffrey dahmer, #lottery win

View Transcript

Transcript

"I have a job interview. Wish me luck." "No." "If you get extra luck then there might be less available for me." "I don't think it works that way." "I can't take that chance." "Tell me, Dilbert, who would you consider your hero?" "Albert Einstein." "That should be safe." "Oh, really? He was an outspoken critic of war. We design missle guidance systems." "How about Jeffrey Dahmer? No?" "I won the lottery!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #spreadsheet for accuracy, #impenetrable jumble, #poorly organized, #cryptic labels, #simple document, #ratio of returns, #sales taxes, #roprtgresta, #organizing, #taxes, #coulumns

View Transcript

Transcript

"Can you check my spreadsheet for accuracy?" "It's an impenetrable jumble of poorly organized data with cryptic labels." "I only need you to check it for accuracy." "I don't think accuracy matters if no one can tell what it's for." "Sheesh! Let me expain this document!" "This column is the ratio of product returns to gross revenue excluding sales taxes, annualized." "it's clearly labeled "ROPRTGRESTA."" "What about the other 80 columns?" "What the #*%!?" "And Dilbert found no inaccuracies."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #nothing to fear, #reorganization, #fear itself, #dont think

View Transcript

Transcript

"This department has nothing to fear about the reorganization but fear itself." "Don't think about it... don't thik about it." "Okay, I'm pretty sure that that doesn't mean anything." "Dang." "Maybe less."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evil director, #himan resources, #downsized, #free dvd, #live off land, #shoplifting, #running fast

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "Don't worry about being downsized after the reorganization." "Downsized employees will get my free DVD that teaches you how to live off the land." "The key to successful shoplifting is running very fast."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #receptionist, #delivery man, #attractive people, #positions

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: "I might appear to be a receptionist, but I'm not." "Believe me, I know that. Companies generally put attractive people in those positions." Carol: "I don't like where this is heading." "I'll wait until she get's back. Yum-Yum."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #upgrade computer, #non standard equipment, #cubicle, #den, #non stardard, #onitor, #healing, #clense, #upgraded computer, #abacus

View Transcript

Transcript

I asked the I.T. department to upgrade my computer. "They're coming here??!" "We must hide our non-standard equipment!" "Uh-oh." "So-o-o... this den of non-standardization must be your cubicle." "This non-standard printer is coming with me. And I don't remember that monitor on our list." "I must cleanse your cubicle of non-conformancce so the healing can begin." "Surely my upgraded computer will arrive soon." Months later "Abacus?" "Please shut up."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #change is good, #triple pay, #meeting, #work for free, #change can be bad, #slogans, #logic, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "You must learn that change is good." Change is :) "Any questoins?" Wally: "Who wants this one?" Dilbert: "I got it." "Question: Why don't you triple our pay? That would be a change." The Boss: "That would not be in the best interst of shareholders." Dilbert: "Okay, why don't you work for free? That's a change that's good for shareholders." "Or would it be better to admit that change can be very bad?" Wally: "My favorite part was when he yelled, "Stop ruining my slogans with your logic!"" Dilbert: "Snort hee-hee!!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bad service, #fire people, #sexy, #ceo of company

View Transcript

Transcript

I keep getting bad service at stores. "Do what I do."<br."I say I'm the CEO of their company and then I fire them all." "You don't look like a CEO." "Too sexy?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #human resources, #change name, #workplace, #evil enough, #evil laugh, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "I might change my department's name." "To "Workplace Services." BU-WHA-HA-HA-HA!!" "When things don't sound evil enough on their own, I like to toss in a bu-wha-ha-ha-ha."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ceo visist, #donuts, #taste test, #all donuts, #dont panic, #fix donuts, #screaming, #fresh and delicious

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Carol, I want to be certain that everything is perfect for the CEO's visit." "Check the doughnuts to make sure that they're fresh and delicious." Later Carol: Mmm... This one is okay." "How can I be sure this isn't the one good doughnut in the batch." "I'll have to taste every one of them." The Boss: "CAROL!!!" Carol: "Don't panic. I can fix this." "This is odd: Most of my doughnut is delicious, but one part tastes like gum."