Fat Man Comic Strips - Page 97

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Fat Man

View 961 - 970 results for fat man comic strips. Discover the best "Fat Man" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #email, #laptop, #boring, #time suck hole, #yell, #thorough, #play music, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I hope you don't mind if I do email during the boring parts of your meeting." Dilbert says, "I don't want to be dragged into your time suck hole." Coworker says, "You are kind of a time suck hole." Man 2 says, "I'm thorough!"

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #job interview, #master plan, #identity theft, #look-alikes

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "If I hire you, you'll get minimum wage to attend meetings and pretend you're me." Wally says, "My plan is to get hired for several jobs and replace myself with low-paid look-alikes in each one." Man says, "My plan is to bury you in a shallow grave and assume your identity." Wally says, "You don't interview well."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #wolfgang, #legend, #spread rumor, #scacred, #hand up, #shake, #beard, #name, #plead, #bow, #software genius

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I asked Wolfgang to join us." The Boss says, "He's a software genius, if not a legend." The Boss says, "He knows more than all of you put together." The Boss says, "Plus his name is Wolfgang." The Boss says, "Some say his talent is a genetic mutation. Others say that god speaks to him in Unix." The Boss says, "All we know for sure is that he glows, and he never needs to eat." The Boss says, "I feel a chill. It means he's appraoching." The Boss says, "Please don't reprogram my DNA and make me a monkey-man!!!" Wally says, "People make a lot of assumptions when you change your name to Wolfgang and stop shaving."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fired, #pink slip, #cleaned out desk, #hold box, #letter of reference, #loser sign, #angry, #grit teeth, #tease

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "I cleaned out my desk. Would you be willing to give me a letter of reference?" The Boss says, "How about the letter 'L'? That seems about right?" Man thinks, "Must? not? burn... bridges." The Boss says, "Too soon?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #school, #coach, #time management, #rudeness, #stand on stool, #angry, #yell, #swear, #type, #cell phone, #wag tail, #education, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "Welcome to Dogbert's school of time management." Dogbert says, "Today you will learn that rudeness and good time management are the same thing." Man says, "Answer my #@*% question!" Dogbert says, "Keep typing, Beverly! He doesn't exist."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #upgrade, #cellphone, #clerk, #sport chair, #laptop, #stare

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I'd like to waste the better part of my afternoon trying to upgrade my phone." Dilbert says, "I'll just set up my sport chair, and use my laptop while you mumble and stare at your monitor for what seems like forever." Dilbert says, "Look at me! I'm beating your system!" Man says, "Quiet! I'm trying to stare."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cellphone, #app, #application, #look, #shoot, #head, #pow, #zap, #funny noise, #angry, #wag tail, #trick

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "Look at this app!" Dilbert says, "Look at this app." Dilbert says, "You said the Dogbert app is supposed to make a funny noise." Dogbert says, "I'll bet it did."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #date, #romance, #cook, #sarcastic, #insult, #free catering

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman says, "I like it when a man cooks for me." Dilbert says, "I love it when a woman knows the difference between affection and free catering." Dilbert says, "We wanted different things."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #slug, #success, #energy, #fast, #fat, #stick paper, #slimy, #face, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "My success depends on your doing your role in a timely and energetic manner." Dilbert says, "People say you're a big, fat slug, but I have confidence in you. I'll stick this to your slimy face and hope for the best." Dilbert says, "I like to think I'm a pretty good judge of character."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rfq, #resopnd, #computer, #discipline, #useless, #lazy, #front, #yoda, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "Wally, can you respond to this RFQ by tomorrow?" Wally says, "That depends." Wally says, "I take a disciplined approach to allocation my limited resources." Wally says, "First, I'll need to evaluate all of the alternative uses for my time." Wally says, "If doing this RFQ thing comes out on top, then yes, I can do it." Man says, "When do you think you will know that?" Wally says, "Maybe next week. Unless something comes up." Man says, "So... you're useless." Wally says, "I don't see you getting much done right now either." Wally says, "Did you know that being disciplined is almost the same as being useless?" Dilbert says, "Yoda? Is that you?"