Last Day Of Work Comic Strips - Page 97

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Last Day Of Work

View 961 - 970 results for last day of work comic strips. Discover the best "Last Day Of Work" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accounting irregularities, #five year plan, #five years ago, #investigated, #prophetic, #5 year assessment

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "I found or five-year plan from five years ago." The Boss continues, "The last page says, "At the end of the fifth year, the entire management team will be..." The Boss continues to read, "... investigated for accounting irregularities." Wally looks at the secret service agent who has just entered and says, "Spooky."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #quitting, #work for myslef, #deal with morons, #freelance webdesigner

View Transcript

Transcript

An employee comes into The Boss' office and says, "Ha ha! I quit you stinkin' pile of rubbish!" The employee continues, "I'm going to work for myself. I won't need to deal with morons like you again!" The employee calms down and adds, "On an unrelated note, if you need a freelance web designer, please call me."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #feedback meeting, #ball rolling, #long tern strategy, #leak to competition, #crushing, #cubicle dwelling, #optimists life, #never easy

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss addresses a meeting, "Welcome to my quarterly employee feedback meeting." The Boss continues, "Who wants to get the ball rolling?" Asok raises his hand. Asok says, "It would be helpful if you told us our company's long term strategy." The Boss responds, "Oh, would it?" The Boss continues, "Why? So you can leak it to our competitors?" The Boss stands and yells, "Here's your stupid suggestion in my hand! I'm crushing it! Crush, crush, crush!!!!" The Boss pretends to stuff something in his mouth and yells, "Now I'll chew it up so I can spit it in your cubicle-dwelling face!!!" As they're walking out, Wally says to Asok, "You fell for that trap last quarter too." Asok replies, "An optimist's life is never easy."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #customer satisfaction, #shows improvement, #focus group, #attacked researchers, #two pencils, #premeditated

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert and Alice, "Our survey of customer satisfaction shows improvement." The Boss continues, "The focus group spontaneously attacked our researchers using number two pencils as shivs." Dilbert asks, "That's an improvement?" The Boss responds, "Last year the attack was premeditated."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #reduce expenses, #new dress barrles, #casual barrel day, #barrel rides up

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss is standing naked, in a barrel. He says to Carol, "To remind us all of our need to reduce expenses, the new dress code is barrels." The Boss continues, "Except for Friday, which will be casual barrel day." Wally, The Boss, and Dilbert are sitting with their arms up and barrels hiding their heads. Dilbert says, "Has anyone else noticed that the barrel rides up with you sit?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #3 projects, #cucbicle, #double wide, #elevator, #scarbble, #night, #counterfeit vowles

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and his mom are in the kitchen. Dilbert's mom is cooking dinner. She says, "Norma's son finished three projects last year. You only did one." Dilbert's mom continues, "His cubicle is a double-wide. And his CEO once said hi to him in the elevator." Dilbert's mom concludes, "Thanks to you, my 'scrabble' night is a living hell." Dilbert asks, "Do you still use counterfeit vowels?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #one project, #finished one, #measure worth, #number of projects, #track roi, #losing, #competition amongst mothers, #dilberts mom

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and his mom are eating dinner. Dilbert's mom asks, "Why have you only finished one project at work this year? Norma's son did three." Dilbert responds, "You can't measure someone's worth by counting the number of projects he does." Dilbert's mom says to her friends, "Maybe we should track R.O.I. instead." One of her friends replies, "Why, because you're losing?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #last kid picked, #team sports, #school, #two people, #super power, #breakroom, #coffee break, #education

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok and Wally are at the coffee machine. Wally says to Asok, "In school, I was always the last kid picked to be on a team." Alice enters and says, "I need two people right now. I'll take Asok and.. I'll keep looking." Asok asks Wally, "So it's like a super power?" Wally replies, "Pretty much."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #nitwit hates ogre, #ogre ate nitwit, #borrow nit iwt, #requisition, #work, #coffee room, #break room, #ogre, #nit wit, #coworkers, #new hires

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Alice are at the coffee machine. Alice says, "My project is being stalled because my nitwit hates my ogre, and my #$&%! won't do any work." Dilbert responds, "My ogre ate my nitwit and my #$&%! is trying to blame me for it." Alice asks, "Do you want to borrow my nitwit?" Dilbert responds, "No, I have a requisition in."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #reducing inventory, #sell to cutomers, #feel free, #tell board, #idea

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss asks Wally and Dilbert, "Does anyone have a suggestion for reducing our inventory?" Wally responds, "Let's sell it to our customers." The Boss asks, "Would that work?" Wally replies, "Feel free to tell the board that it's your idea."