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Dogbert stands on the Boss's desk and says, "Dilbert asked me to speak to you about the project plan you created without his input." Dogbert screams, "It's impossible, you arrogant baboon!!!" Dogbert continues, "Lean over here so I can slap you." The Boss says, "I'm having flashbacks to my honeymoon."
Dilbert, Wally, the Boss and Alice sit at a conference table. Wally says, "As you requested, I have learned to 'do more with less.'" Wally continues, "I'm doing more unnecessary work, with less planning, less intelligence, and less guilt." The Boss says, "I hate the first staff meeting after budget cuts." Wally adds, "And less career aspiration, too!"
Dilbert stands in the bedroom tying his tie. He tells Dogbert, "Our new CEO will be announced today, Dogbert." Dilbert continues, "Rumor has it that they picked a tall caucasian male with no experience in our industry." Dilbert continues, "I can't wait to hear the bizarre logic behind this choice." Dogbert says, "I like your necktie. Is it new?" Dilbert replies, "Shut up." A man stands at a podium and says, "Our new CEO has never worked in our industry, but that's exactly what we were looking for . . ." The man continues, ". . . Because we wanted a CEO who doesn't know what can't be done!" The men prepare to shake hands, but the CEO offers his left hand. The man whispers, "Other hand . . . Other hand." The CEO asks, "Why?" Dilbert says to Wally and Alice, "He looks a bit overqualified." Wally says, "I really took the wrong approach on my resume."
Dogbert says, "Ratbert, I'm going back into the consulting business and I need you to be my engagement manager." Dogbert continues, "You'll seem very smart if you randomly combine the words on this list and make many references to 'Wal-Mart.'" Ratbert sits at a conference table with Dilbert and the Boss. Ratbert says, "It's like 'Wal-Mart.' Migrate your value into the white spaces of the ecosystem." The Boss says, "Wow! That's one smart rat!"
Ratbert stands in front of a dry erase board and says, "Your strategy options can be shown in this matrix." Dilbert and the Boss sit at a conference table listening to the presentation. Ratbert continues, "The four boxes are 'Something . . . Something . . . Some other thing and whatever.'" Ratbert continues, "In phase two I hope to turn this matrix into concentric circles with labels and arrows." The Boss thinks, "I'm under the consultant's spell."
The Boss sits at a table with his arms outstretched. He says, "I am under your consulting spell." Ratbert asks, "Really?" The Boss continues, "Your overly complicated matrices and diagrams have convinced me of your intellectual superiority." The Boss says, "I am afraid to act without your approval." Ratbert asks, "Did I say you could put your arms up like that?"
Wally tells Dilbert, "Our boss has fallen under the spell of a consultant." The Boss walks by with his arms outstretched and a zombie-like look on his face. He says, "Must . . . Make assumptions." The Boss continues, "Must . . . write . . large checks to consultant . . . because . . . employees . . . are . . . morons." Wally says, "Just because we pay inexperienced strangers to tell us how to do our jobs, that doesn't mean we're morons!" Dilbert says, "Yeah! It's a coincidence."
Ratbert tells the Boss, "Now that you're under my spell, I'd like to sit on your head and play bulldozer." The Boss stares straight ahead and holds his arms out. Ratbert sits on the Boss's head and pulls on his hair. He says, "Make some engine noises with your lips!" Ratbert laughs as the Boss makes noises. Alice asks Dilbert and Wally, "Do you think our consultant has too much power?" Dilbert replies, "Nah. He's barely moving that file cabinet."
The Boss stands behind Dilbert's desk and says, "I can't let you telecommute because then I wouldn't be able to manage you." Dilbert replies, "You're managing me right now, and all it's doing is preventing me from working." The Boss asks, "And your point would be . . . ?" Dilbert replies, "Just beyond your grasp."
Dilbert tells Dogbert, "I need your help to negotiate with my boss for more telecommuting days." Dogbert replies, "I'm too logical to be a good negotiator. You need someone who is relentlessly irrational." Dilbert tells Ratbert, "Dogbert says you're an excellent negotiator, Ratbert." Ratbert shouts, "I'm insulted!!"