Time Travel Comic Strips - Page 97

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1000 Results for Time Travel

View 961 - 970 results for time travel comic strips. Discover the best "Time Travel" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 20, 2014's comic on:


Tags #employees, #honesty, #lying, #morale, #punishing honesty, #100% perfect, #business

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Temporary Robot Boss. Robot: Is it just my simulated imagination or are all of the employees lying to me all the time? Catbert: We trained them to be that way by punishing honesty. Robot: How is you project coming along? Alice: 100% perfect! Couldn't be better!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 02, 2014's comic on:


Tags #obliviousness, #time management, #touch, #touching, #touching paper, #turn off phone, #ignore email, #one touch, #salad tongs, #on etouch, #interupted

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Boss: The key to good time management is touching each piece of paper once. If I can only touch it once, I'd better do it right. I'll need to make sure I don't get interrupted after the first touch.Turn off my phone, close my door, and ignore email. Okay, here goes one touch. Ugh. This will take an hour and I only have ten minutes. Make a copy, throw away the original, and don't let me touch the copy until I have an hour in my schedule. I wonder if I'm allowed to use salad tongs.

Bob Has No Cool Way To Describe His Life

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Bob Has No Cool Way To Describe His Life - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 04, 2014's comic on:


Tags #dinosaurs, #flip phones, #smart phones, #technology, #what is cool?, #windows xp

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Dinosaur: All I need is my flip phone, my Windows XP, and my basic cable television. Did I sound like a big, dumb dinosaur that time? Dogbert: Pretty much. Dinosaur: Wow... there is no cool way to describe my life.

Bob Gets A Smartwatch

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Bob Gets A Smartwatch - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 05, 2014's comic on:


Tags #carbon dating, #dinosaurs, #pun, #puns, #smartwatch, #technology, #anthrpocene epoch

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Dinosaur: Ha ha! I am now the coolest member of the household because I have a smartwatch. Hello, watch. What time is is? Watch: This is the anthropocene epoch. Dinosaur: Wow, that carbon dates me.

Carol Juggles Work Plus Family

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Carol Juggles Work Plus Family - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 09, 2014's comic on:


Tags #Family, #happiness, #work, #juggle work, #fighting porcupines, #salt mine, #job, #secretary, #business, #psychology

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Dilbert: I don't know how you juggle work plus a family. Carol: Spending time with my family is like fighting porcupines in a salt mine. I come here just to get away from them. Dilbert: So... you like your job? Carol: No, but at least I can go home to get away from it.

Wally Uses Misdirection

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Wally Uses Misdirection - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 11, 2014's comic on:


Tags #anger, #criticism, #work ethic, #misguided, #whip to death, #intestines, #nap time, #elaborate cruelty

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Wally: I would love to help you, Alice, but Dilbert says everything you are doing is misguided. Alice: What? I will whip him to death with his own intestines! Wally: Can you either do that quietly or wait until after my nap time?

Financial Advisor Keeps Him Waiting

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Financial Advisor Keeps Him Waiting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 15, 2014's comic on:


Tags #finances, #financial advisor, #investing, #knowledge, #money, #personal finance

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Financial Advisor. Dilbert: You kept me waiting in the lobby for five minutes. So I used that time to learn everything that matters in the field of personal investing. Did you know that you don't know much? Financial Advisor: I did not know that.

Incompetent Employee Budget Only

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Incompetent Employee Budget Only - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 25, 2014's comic on:


Tags #budget, #catch-22, #incompetence, #funds, #lose funds, #75% competent, #cubicle

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Boss: I only have enough in the budget to hire an employee who is incompetent half of the time. But if I don't use the budget, I will lose those funds next year. Employee: And I am proud to say that I'm 75% competent. Boss: I wish I could afford that.

Dilbert Meets The Mom

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Dilbert Meets The Mom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 02, 2015's comic on:


Tags #dating, #low standards, #meeting people, #parents, #mother, #efficiency, #ebola, #shake hands, #Family, #relationships

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Woman: Mom, this my date, Dilbert. He only wears tube clothes. Dilbert: For the efficiency. Whoa! Before I touch that paw, have you been to any Ebola hot spots lately? Woman: He has a job. Dilbert: My time has come!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 04, 2015's comic on:


Tags #arguing, #personal business, #work ethic, #work load, #work call, #payment, #time management, #handled arguement, #bodd, #employee, #repremand, #money

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Boss: That doesn't sound like a work call. Carol: It isn't I don't have time to do my personal stuff on my own time. I have to do it on work time. Boss: I pay you to do work stuff, not personal stuff. Carol: Then how would I get all of my personal stuff done? Boss: That's not my problem. Carol: Then why did you bring it up. Boss: Because I need you to do work. Carol: I told you I can't get all of my personal stuff done if I do your work! Boss: Okay, okay. I probably could have handled that better.