Will Die Comic Strips - Page 97

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Will Die

View 961 - 970 results for will die comic strips. Discover the best "Will Die" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deadline, #upcoming, #annual performance review, #finish on time, #agree to disagree, #no raise, #excuses, #disrespect for workers, #annual review, #not paying, #not fare wages

View Transcript

Transcript

"Your project deadline is next month, and I can't imagine you finishing on time." "So I dinged you on your annual performance review." "But... I will finish on time." "Well, let's agree to disagree."<r>"What?!" "You're basing my raise on what you IMAGINE I won't do in the furture!" "Relax. If you do finish the project on time, I'll factor it into your next annual review." "Well... Okay. I guess it all averages out." One Year Later "Remember the project that I finished last year?" "No. But the new one looks like it will be late."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #america, #arrogance, #elbonians, #end of time, #fight you, #fix problems, #what we do

View Transcript

Transcript

In Elbonia Wally: "I'm from America and I'm here to fix all of your problems." Elbonians: "Your arrogance is offensive. We will form an armed resistance and right you to the end of time!" Wally: "Um... Why?" Elbonians: "It's just something we do."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #company relocating, #high crime, #tax reasons, #ceo says, #limo, #parking garage, #chain bike to whino, #advice from ceo

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Our company will be relocating to a high-crime area for tax reasons." "Our CEO says don't worry about your safety because your limo can pull right into the underground parking garage." "Then he added, "Or chain your bicycle to a wino. Whatever."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #forecast, #predcit, #pants so high, #kill self with belt, #statue erected, #honor of blet, #stupid towns people

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Alice, I need your forecast and I need it right now." Alice: "I predict that someday you'll wear your pants so high that you'll choke yourself to death with your belt." "And the towns-people will erect a statue to honor your belt." The Boss: "Stupid towns-people."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #introductions, #manager instinct, #disengaged, #mirror mannerisms, #witty side comment, #pledge loyalty, #dead guy, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

I missed the introductions. "I'll use my manager instinct to figure out who's important." "Only a senior executive could get away without looking so disengaged." "I'll mirro his mannerisms so he'll like me." "Now for a witty side comment." "Ha ha! That will happend when monkeys fly our of my nose." "No reaction! He must be so important that he has no sense of humor!" "I pledge my loyalty to you and only you!!!" "I heard that you pledged your loyalty to a daed guy." "At least he won't ask for much."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #arguments, #based on definiatoons, #fascist, #wearing pajamas, #wearing top

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: "From now on, all of my arguments will be based on definitions that are not in any dictionary." "For example, I could argue that you're a facist because you're wearing pajamas." Dilbert: "I'm only wearing the top." Dogbert: "Man I wish I didn't know that."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #software integration, #coworkers, #misundertsanding, #abuse, #insisting on defense, #what i think, #halluciante

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: "How can you think that the software integration project is a waste of time??!" Dilbert: "I don't.' "But if history is my guide, you will abuse the next hour of my life by insisting that I defend your misunderstanding of what I think." Tina: "So why do you think it's a wast eof time?" Dilbert: "Do you mind if I work while yo uhallucinate?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #habitual liar, #ordered on internet, #resist free stuff

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "Karl, you're a habitual liar but these pills that I ordered over the internet will cure you." Karl: "I've never lied in my life, but I can't resist free stuff." Dilbert: "Um... Are you alive?" Karl: "Never felt better!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #doctors offcie, #exam room, #toxikill, #drug comapny, #totally hot, #side effects, #what eaten, #doctor, #thinking of date, #drug rep, #hot, #payoff, #kick back, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Doctor: You're healthy but I have to give you a prescription for tocikill. The drug company's rep is totally hot and said she'd take me to lunch if I sell enough of this stuff." Dilbert: Will there be any side effects?" " Doctor: Depends on what I eat."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer freeze, #possible fixes, #possible combination, #no guaretntee, #lazy

View Transcript

Transcript

Hello. My crashinbox computer keeps freezing up. "There are 25 possible fixes but they must be tried in every combination." "That's 625 things I'd have to try with no guarantee that any of it will work." "So you're saying you're lazy."