Business Ethics Comic Strips - Page 97
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1000 Results for Business Ethics
View 961 - 970 results for business ethics comic strips. Discover the best "Business Ethics" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday July 26,
2013
Tags business ethics, managers & supervisors, ethics course, failed ethics, engineer, grasp, fast track, management, corrupt, business, engineering
Transcript
Boss: You failed the online ethics course for the third time. You can't be an engineer for this company if you have no grasp of business ethics. You leave me no choice. I'm putting you on the management fast track. Wally: Huh.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Thursday July 25,
2013
Tags business ethics, online ethics course, kill coworker, failed ethics test, first employee to fail
Transcript
Catbert: You're the first employee in company history to fail the online ethics course. Wally: I protest the grading system! Ethics are subjective. There are no right answers! Catbert: You said you would kill a coworker if you knew you wouldn't get caught. Wally: It was hard to know what answer they were looking for.
Friday July 19,
2013
Tags paying bills, trees, off site document, storage costs, out of control, core bsuiness, trees are jerks, money
Transcript
Boss: Our off-site document storage costs are growing out of control. At this rate, our core business can be summarized as "put trees in jail." This is when you say something wise and helpful. CEO: Trees are jerks.
Thursday July 18,
2013
Tags cancel service, deception, dogcart document, garbage trucks, service business, storage
Transcript
Boss: We've been using The Dogbert Offsite Document Storage Service for five years, and frankly, I'm concerned. Your service trucks look suspiciously like garbage trucks. I would cancel your service if I could find the contract. Dogbert: It's in "storage."
Monday July 15,
2013
Tags deception, business card, no @ sign, email, missing number, phone number
Transcript
Wally : Mere's my card. Let me know if I can be of further assistance. Coworker: Your phone number is missing a digit and your email address doesn't have an @ symbol. Wally: I didn't say it would be easy.
Sunday July 14,
2013
Tags access, apprval, blocked website, cip, director of hr, hostiliy, mean, threat
Transcript
This website has been blocked by your company. Dilbert: Mordac, I need access to a blocked site for business reasons, Mordac: I can only unblock the site if the director of human resources sends me a written approval. Catbert: I can only make recommendations, Our Cis still has to approve it. Chief Information Officer How dare you bother me with your trivial website problem! Carol back into your hole and think about the career mistake you just made! Dilbert: Can we kip the part where you ask me what I accomplished this week?
Saturday July 13,
2013
Tags managers & supervisors, new procurement policy, p.o.o.p., thinking, business
Transcript
Boss: It took us three days at the executive retreat to come up with a name for our new procurement policy. We named it the "Procurement Operations Oversight Policy." Dilbert: P.O.O.P.? Boss: Do you know how many managers it takes to come up with a good name? Dilbert: A few more than you had?
Tuesday July 02,
2013
Tags complicated issue, conversation, finish sentences, meeting, smarter, business
Transcript
Boss: Wow. This is a complicated issue. Maybe you should run it past someone who is... Dilbert: Smarter. Boss: I think you'd be better letting me end my own... Dilbert: Life?
Tuesday June 25,
2013
Tags managers & supervisors, time estimate, propsal, win bid, wet sponge, insulted me, business
Transcript
Boss: I adjusted your time estimate on the proposal from two years to one so we could win the bid. I plan to make up the time by squeezing you like a wet sponge that insulted me. Then the wet sponge insulted me.
Thursday June 20,
2013
Tags deception, managers & supervisors, company policy, rate staff, no upper body strength, real reason, business
Transcript
Boss: Company policy says I have to rate one-third of my staff as "Does not meet expectations." I chose the two of you because you have no upper body strength. This way it's safer if you go berzerk. I thought you said I should tell them the reason I picked them. Catbert: Not the real reason.

