Feel Like Progress Comic Strips - Page 97

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Feel Like Progress

View 961 - 970 results for feel like progress comic strips. Discover the best "Feel Like Progress" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 23, 2007's comic on:


Tags #quagmire, #alien, #highly advanced intelligence, #genius

View Transcript

Transcript

Alien: I am an alien with highly advanced intelligence. I have come to share my genius with this company. Asok: Me too. But they don't like that sort of thing here. It's a quagmire."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 18, 2007's comic on:


Tags #password recovery, #morons, #forgot password, #nostrildogmas, #messed password, #psychic

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert's password recovery service for morons Ned: I done forgot my password. Dogbert: What's your name? Ned: My name is Ned, I think. Is your password 'Ned'? Ned: Sweet baby jeepers, you're like some sort of Nostrildogmas!" Dogbert: Here's a brochure for my cult.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 12, 2007's comic on:


Tags #engineer, #magic vendors fault, #network, #shoebox, #twigs and leaves, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Client: Your network product appears to be a shoe box full of twigs and leaves. Sales engineer: Hoho! Just wist util my engineer does his magic and integrates it with your network! Make it look like another vendor's fault.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 08, 2007's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #avoid facts, #cubicle, #paid commissions, #sales engineer, #truth, #sales rep

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: I'm making you a sales engineer. You'll be paid on commission." "When our sales reps lie, it will be your job to make it look like the truth." "Try to avoid facts."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 24, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"I'll be right back after I return these dishes to the cafeteria." "Whoa, whoa!" "Winners don't return dishes to the cafeteria." "Then how do the dishes get back?" "You must use your power of low standards." "Just place the dishes on the floor and wait for a loser with high standards." "Gaaa! Dishes on the floor!" "Once again I have to clean up after slobs!" "It is like a miracle." "Now ask her to bring you back a yogurt."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 23, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

I heard that the guy you voted for just confessed to having an affair with a squirrel. "Shut up. The guy you voted for is being sued for choking his secretary." "In some countries they don't get a choice of who to vote for." "I feel sorry for them."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 19, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"Tina seems mad at you. What's that about?" "She thought I did something rude, but when she found out I didn't, she still had residual anger." "I wonder what it's like to have squirrels living in your skull."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 05, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "Every absence counts as one 'occurrence' whether it is one day or more." "I just got a headache. I'll see you in a year. Or as I like to call it, one occurrence." "If something is worth having, it's worth abusing."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 30, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Today the company restated its earnings from 'a few frillion' to 'a loss of 1.3 billion'. "This would be humiliating if I had any friends." "Your strategy of being unattractive is paying off." "I'm ugly like a fox."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 24, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"Asok, this is Albert. He's old but we need to call him mature." "Explain to him what the computers are, but don't let him touch anything. The elderly like to fiddle." "I was a chip designer in my last job." "Really? Chocolate or poker?"