Just A Quick Question Comic Strips - Page 97

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View 961 - 970 results for just a quick question comic strips. Discover the best "Just A Quick Question" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #our annual report, #positive spin, #poor results, #stock plummenting, #can't afford us

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"Tina, I want you to write our annual report." "How should I explain our poor results?" "Just give it a positive spin." "If you have to ask why our stock keeps plummeting, you can't afford us."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #company values, #question, #action, #results, #twice as much, #imagination, #all over the map, #soon and perfect

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Bias for Action Passion for Results "And these are our company values." "Please don't ask any questions." "Question!" "Do the results have to be good ones?" "Um...yes." "I'm not so sure. I think it would say that." "Since action and results are both important, is it okay to have bad results so long as it takes twice as much action?" "JUST DO EVERYTHING SOON AND PERFECTLY!!!" "Is it my imagination or is he all over the map on this?" "I forget what we were talking about."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #wites to website, #eating toast, #file open, #stupidest question

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Dogbert writes a F.A.Q. for the company web site "Question 8: Why won't my file open when I'm eating toast?" "Answer 8: That is the stupidest question ever! Do not have children!" "I sure hope someone asks that question."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #faq for wedsite, #anticipate questions, #questionaire

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I hired Mr. Dogbert to write the F.A.Q. for our web site. "The key is to anticipate our customers' most likely questions." "Question 1: Where does your CEO live? I need to know so I can throw your cruddy project through his biggest window."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #harpoon, #ass, #secretary, #donut eating, #remove, #annual review

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"It's a harpoon. I see a lot of this." "It's caused by a combination of doughnut-eating and agitating a secretary." "Can you remove it?" "Yes, but it will just come back at Annual Review time."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss appt., #cancel later, #give appt, #combing his knuckles

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"I need five minutes on the pointy-haired boss' calendar." "No can do." "If I give you an appointment, I'll just have to cancel it later when something more important comes up." "What's he doing now?" "Combing his knuckles."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"I have a job offer from another company, but I'll give you a chance to buy my loyalty." "Now I just sit back and let the loving begin." "And his opening offer is..." "That's right: Whack him in the parking lot."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Question: If our new product takes you sixty minutes into the future in one hour... "Isn't that the same as doing nothing at all?" "It also makes you lose weight if you stay in it long enough...while not eating."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Carol, shred this." "The shredder is right behind you, next to the fax." "What if I do it wrong?" "Only a complete moron could do it wrong." "Um...I think I might have just faxed our strategy someplace." "And that's why you never see a water fountain in a men's restroom."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #nonsense, #no questions, #no time

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The Boss: "Aha! Just the person I need." "Meet with the LDC and make sure the MRT gets URPed when the RFIT gets NERKed to the ORCAT." "If you have any questions, I don't have time for that sort of thing."