Boss Doubts Dilbert Comic Strips - Page 97

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Boss Doubts Dilbert

View 961 - 970 results for boss doubts dilbert comic strips. Discover the best "Boss Doubts Dilbert" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 13, 1996's comic on:


Tags #being bought, #long time rival, #layoffs, #engineers, #divison, #what we do, #younger

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Alice, Wally and Dilbert, "The company announced we're being bought by our long-time rival." Alice, Wally and Dilbert look surprised. The Boss continues, "Don't worry about layoffs. They like engineers. In fact, they already have a division that does what we do!" Alice throws her hands up, Wally yanks at his tie and Dilbert covers his eyes. The Boss continues, "Except they're younger and they aren't paid as much as we are . . ." Alice's hair jumps off her head, Wally's skeleton comes out of his mouth and Dilbert's head spins around.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 15, 1996's comic on:


Tags #inert, #leadership, #morale boosting, #next phase, #pending merger, #praised with fear, #rigor mortis, #unmotivated

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands with his arms extended and says to the Boss, "I'm paralyzed with fear because of the pending merger." Dilbert continues, "Thanks to your leadership I've gone from being unmotivated to being inert." Dilbert says, "I think I'm advancing to the next phase. Hello, rigor mortis!! Take me, I'm ready!!" The Boss walks away thinking, "It might be time for a morale-boosting potluck lunch."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 19, 1996's comic on:


Tags #anti rust, #bald, #big field, #butterfly turned opera singer, #car dealer, #data compression, #dream analysts, #extended warranty, #new algorythm, #running against wind, #sealant, #serious money

View Transcript

Transcript

Someone reaches for a door labeled "Dogbert's Dream Analysis." Dogbert and a man sit at a conference table. The man says, "I was in a big field full of tofu and carburetors." Dogbert says, "It means you're a gullible moron. That's $25 please." A woman tells Dogbert, "Then I was running, running, running against the wind." Dogbert replies, "That means you're ugly." Wally tells Dogbert, "Then the butterfly turned into an opera singer." Dogbert says, "That means you're bald." Dilbert tells Dogbert, "Suddenly I saw a new algorythm for data compression." Dogbert replies, "It means you're boring." The Boss tells Dogbert, "Then I told the car dealer I wanted the anti-rust sealant, the extended warranty and the lease option." The Boss asks, "What do you think it means?" Dogbert replies, "It means I'm going to make some serious money today."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 1996's comic on:


Tags #another company benefit, #new policy forbids, #permit, #season, #use of weapons, #violence, #workplace

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Our new policy forbids the use of weapons or any violence in the workplace." Dilbert raises his hand and asks, "Ummm . . . What was the policy before this?" The Boss responds, "I'm not sure . . . Maybe if you had a permit and it was in season." Wally says, "There goes another company benefit."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 30, 1996's comic on:


Tags #alternatives, #analysis, #coworker not boss, #information, #urgent need, #analysis of alternatives, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

A man enters Dilbert's cubicle, hands him a document and says, "I need this information today. Plus a complete analysis of the alternatives." Dilbert crinkles the paper and stuffs it in the wastebasket. The man says, "That wasn't nice." Dilbert responds, "In today's lesson, you learn that you're my co-worker, not my boss."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 01, 1996's comic on:


Tags #not paid big bucks, #presentation, #use walkie talkie, #walk the talk, #carol, #look at paycheck

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to his secretary, "When Dilbert comes by, tell him to add 'walk the talk' to his presentation." The secretary says to Dilbert, "He wants you to use a 'Walkie-Talkie' to do the presentation." Dilbert asks, "Um . . . Did he say why?" The secretary holds up her paycheck and says, "Hey, look at my paycheck! I just realized I don't get paid the big bucks!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 11, 1996's comic on:


Tags #new company logo, #brown ring, #quality

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Alice, Dogbert and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "The Dogbert Consulting Company will help us design a new company logo." Dogbert drinks a cup of coffee. The Boss asks, "When will you start?" Dogbert turns the empty coffee mug upside down on a piece of paper and says, "I just finished. I call it the brown ring of quality."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 12, 1996's comic on:


Tags #new logo, #sloppy, #unimaginative, #money to consultants, #little return, #too good, #opinions

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert, the Boss, Alice and Dilbert sit at a conference table. Dogbert stands on the table, holds up a piece of paper and says, "Your new logo might look like a simple coffee stain, but what does the image say about you?" Dilbert asks, "We're sloppy and unimaginative?" Alice asks, "We give lots of money to consultants and get little in return?" Dogbert looks at the logo and says, "Wow. This is almost TOO good." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "Ooh ooh! How about 'Our opinions don't matter?'"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 13, 1996's comic on:


Tags #artificial urgency, #gibberish, #god news, #mission, #objectives uncler, #insane but happy

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Alice, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. Wally says, "Our objectives are unclear and our mission statement is gibberish . . ." Wally continues, "But thanks to an artificial sense of urgency, I'm working harder than ever!" The Boss asks, "What's the good news you said you have?" Wally answers, "Apparently I'm insane. But I'm one of the happy kinds!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 17, 1996's comic on:


Tags #100% complete, #50% done, #action item, #estimate

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. Wally says, "The status of my action item is 50% done." Wally continues, "Specifically, I finished the item part but not the action." The Boss asks, "Do you have an estimate for when the action will be done?" Wally answers, "Yes, and that estimate is 100% complete!"