Down For Day Comic Strips - Page 97
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1000 Results for Down For Day
View 961 - 970 results for down for day comic strips. Discover the best "Down For Day" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday December 06,
2014
No More Than Eight People In A Meeting
Tags #autobiography, #executives, #ghost writers, #quote, #quotes, #co author, #meetings, #rules
Transcript
Dilbert: Your rule is that no more than eight people should attend a meeting, so I can't let you sit down. CEO: When did I say that? Dilbert: It was in a book you co-wrote. CEO: I knew I should have skimmed that thing. Dilbert: Your unknown co-author is quite wise.
Monday December 29,
2014
Dilbert Invents Tube Clothes
Tags #clothing, #decision, #decision-making, #inventions, #success, #thinking, #tube clothes, #eliminate decisions, #mark zuckerberg, #gray t-short, #success secrets
Transcript
Dilbert: I call my invention "tube clothes." The idea is to eliminate as many daily decisions as possible, the way Mark Zuckerberg does with his gray t-shirt. I like to understand what makes people successful. Dogbert: And you narrowed it down to his shirt?
Wednesday January 07,
2015
Tube Clothing Or Rug
Tags #clothes, #clothing, #insult, #nerd, #nerds, #style, #tube clothes, #invented style, #reduce decisions, #carpet, #wrapped
Transcript
Dilbert: Tube clothes! I invented that style! Did it reduce the number of decisions you need to make every day? Man: I'm just a guy wrapped in a carpet. Dilbert: Oh, I thought you were like me. Man: I don't have to take these insults.
Monday January 12,
2015
Dilbert's Tube Clothes Distract
Tags #clothing, #dress code, #fashion, #human resources, #obliviousness, #sex appeal, #sexiness, #co workers, #tube clothes, #modifications, #distarction, #corduroy tube, #libido killer, #business
Transcript
Catbert: Your co-workers are complaining that your tube clothes distract them from work. Dilbert: I can make some modifications so I'm less sexy. That should cut down on the distraction. Catbert: We might not be on the same page. Dilbert: I could wear a corduroy tube. That's a libido killer.
Sunday January 11,
2015
Tags #coaching, #deception, #laziness, #mentor, #mentoring, #strategy, #work ethic, #taper, #key to winning, #new job, #long hours, #good first impression, #taker off, #working smarter
Transcript
Wally: Asok, the key to winning at your job is the taper. Asok: Taper? Wally: At the start of any new job, you want to put in long hours and create a good first impression. Then you should start to gradually taper off your effort. But be sure you taper slowly. You don't want to be obvious. Boss: Wally, is it my imagination, or are you working slightly less every day? Wally: It only looks that way because I'm working smarter, not harder. Just the way you taught me. Boss: Okay, that sounds right. Wally: Always keep that round in the chamber. Asok: You scare me, but in a good way.
Wednesday January 28,
2015
Success Is About Who You Know
Tags #blame, #blaming, #success, #who you know
Transcript
Wally: Success is all about who you know. I'm not successful, so apparently it doesn't help to know you. Dilbert: I"m sorry I let you down. Wally: It's as if you aren't even trying.
Thursday March 19,
2015
Asok Applies To Be Wally's Lackey
Tags #assistant, #caffeine, #coffee, #croney, #lackey, #Promotion, #vice president, #upper body strength
Transcript
Asok: Now that you are a vice president, may I apply to be your lackey? Wally: If I'm being honest, Asok, I need someone with more upper body strength to carry my coffee all day. Asok: Then I said, "A Vice President's coffee can't be that heavy."
Saturday May 02,
2015
Dilbert Almost Done Commenting
Tags #insult, #insulting, #idiot, #criticism, #critique, #name-calling
Transcript
Boss: Did you comment on my technology strategy yet? Dilbert: Almost done. Do you object to the word "idiot?" Boss: Yes. Dilbert: I might need another day.
Sunday June 28,
2015
Tags #meditate, #meditation, #mindful, #mindfulness, #mbct, #stress, #trick, #laziness, #deception, #work ethic, #ruse, #nap, #napping
Transcript
Wally: Do you mind if I take Steve Jobs' advice and practice meditation and mindfulness? Science says meditation can reduce stress and make me more productive. And obviously it worked for Steve Jobs, so there's that. To the untrained eye, it will seem as if I am napping. But in reality, I will be quieting my mind to boost creativity. Boss: Meditate on your own time. Wally: Wow. That just stressed me out and shut down my creative juices. Boss: Just do your job! Wally: Because quality doesn't matter?
Monday July 06,
2015
Drones Attack Dilbert
Tags #engineer, #engineers, #drone, #drones, #government contract, #contractor, #retaliation, #engineering
Transcript
G-Man 1: Oh-oh. The fugitive hacker Dilbert rolled down a hill and found a cell signal. G-Man 2: Relax. What can one engineer with a phone do against a superpower with armed drones? G-Man 1: Who do you think makes our drones???!!!