New Boss Comic Strips - Page 97

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View 961 - 970 results for new boss comic strips. Discover the best "New Boss" comics from Dilbert.com.

Ceo Understands Wally

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Ceo Understands Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags buzzwords, deception, economists, economy, jargon, chief economist, quarter, exchange rate, derivatives, yen, monetary policy

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Boss: Our new Chief Economist, Wally, will tell us what to expect in the coming quarter. Wally: The exchange rate on derivatives will trigger a bubble in monetary policy and deflate the yen. CEO: I totally understand that and have no questions.Boss: Wow! He's good.

How Alice Can Disagree

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How Alice Can Disagree - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Opinion, argument, disagreement, open-minded, dissenting opinion, sincerity

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Alice: Is there any way to disagree with your new strategy without making you angry? Boss: Blah blah I value all opinions. Blah blah open door policy. Blah blah dissenting opinions are good. Alice: None of that sounded sincere. Boss: Nailed it.

Boss Gets Standing Desk

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Boss Gets Standing Desk - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags fads, desk, standing, health, fitness, office furniture, trends

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Carol: The "standing desk" you ordered is here. I scheduled a mover to get rid of it tomorrow. Boss: Legs... so... tired. Carol: Don't slip on his tears.

Boss And Social Media

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Boss And Social Media - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags social media, twitter, facebook, passion, deception, trick, prank, obliviousness, technology

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Boss: I don't get social media. How do I get followers? Wally: Easy. People care about passion. Find something you hate and write about it. Boss: Well, I don't like children. Wally: Perfect. And don't hold back.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags tagline, marketing, advertising, ad, ads, impossible, business

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Boss: We need a tagline for our new product. It should be no more than three words. It should convey an emotion. And it should clearly explain everything the product does. Dilbert: In three words? Boss :I didn't say it would be easy. Nike accomplished all of that with "Just do it." Dilbert: Did they? Because that seems like a generic thing you can say in any situation. Boss: Just do it! Alice: How about "Keep doing it?" Is that one taken?

Boss Survives Fall From Bridge

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Boss Survives Fall From Bridge - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags accident, falling, walking, help, emergency, apathy, Sports

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Boss: I survived falling off the bridge when we were taking our long walk to discuss business. I ended up a mile downstream. That's probably why the search team didn't find me. Dilbert: Yup.

Nano Robots Are The New Health Plan

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Nano Robots Are The New Health Plan - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, robots, invention, health, big business, corporation, nanobot

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CEO: We're replacing the employee health plan with nanorobot technology. We'll insert tiny medical robots into their lower digestive tracts to keep them healthy forever. Boss: So, our plan is to shove robots up... CEO: Only until the robots can replace them.

Dilbert Working On Boss's Side Job

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Dilbert Working On Boss's Side Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work, labor, free, taking advantage, side job, boss, conflict of interest

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Boss: Did you finish the website I asked you to make for my side business? Dilbert: No, because you keep me busy 100 percent of the time in my regular job. Boss: Hey, it isn't easy asking for twice as many status updates either.

Boss Hoards Gold

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Boss Hoards Gold - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags gold, hiding, secrets, foolish

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Boss: I'm smart because I'm hoarding gold just in case the world economy collapses. Dilbert: How many people have you told? Dilbert: Where is this heading? Dilbert: Do you still keep a spare key under your welcome mat?

Boss Hoards Gold Unless Hungry

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Boss Hoards Gold Unless Hungry - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags gold, apocalypse, money, Food, priorities, hunger, fool

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Boss: You'll be sorry when the world economy collapses. But I'll be okay because I hoarded gold at my house. Alice: On day two, you'll trade all of it for a sandwich. Boss: Only if I'm hungry.