New Secretary Comic Strips - Page 97
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The boss says, "I hired a woman who laughs too much." Woman says, "Ha ha ha ha ha!" The boss says, "She'll be in the cubicle next to yours." Woman says, "Wa-ha ha ha ha!" Dilbert says, "I no longer worry about life passing too quickly."
Dogbert the CEO The boss says, "The new motivational posers are in." the boss says, "As you requested, I bought the least expensive ones." Dogbert says, "Excuse me while I stretch my wagger." If all else fails?your coworkers are edible
Asok says, "I'm recalibrating my hopes and dreams to be consistent with the state of the economy." Asok says, "My new goal is to not be smothered to death by an old mattress that falls off a salvage truck." Asok says, "And I am saving money by drinking nothing but mugs of stale air." Wally says, "You're scaring my coffee!"
Dilbert says, "Welcome to another round of 'If we had money.' I'll go first." Dilbert says, "If we had money, we could design and test new products." Asok says, "We could go to training." Dilbert says, "You forgot to say, 'If we had money'!"
To all staff: We had to let our cleaning crew go for budget reasons. In a separate e-mail, I will explain our new 'Adopt a toilet' program. Dilbert says, "I have to be honest, Timmy. I don't see college in your future."
Topper Carol says, "My first baby weighed 12 pounds. I gave birth in the cap of a stolen backhoe." Topper says, "That's nothing!" Topper says, "I once passed a gallstone so big that it became secretary of labor in the Clinton administration." Carol says, "I find that hard to believe." Topper says, "Give me ten minutes and then check wikipedia."
Catbert: Evil director of human resources Wally says, "According to the news, everyone in power is corrupt." Catbert says, "So?" Wally says, "If you give me a 20% raise, I'll kick back half to you." Catbert says, "Done." Dilbert says, "How did you afford a new vest in this economy? Crime?" Wally says, "I'm dabbling."
Man says, "I have an MBA from a top business school." Man says, "I'm a management expert because I read case studies about businesses that were in completely different situations." Man says, "Wait a minute. Why does that suddenly seem ridiculous?" Dilbert says, "Will this take much longer?"
The MBA guy Man says, "I put together a spreadsheet that might interest you." The boss says, "Ow! Ow! It's so boring, it hurts my head!" The boss says, "My brain is trying to escape through my ear!" Man says, "I get this a lot."