Pelt With Office Supplies Comic Strips - Page 97

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #home, #friend, #tea, #lemon, #waffles, #Dogbert, #lousy

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Dilbert, who is wearing a bathrobe, says to Dogbert, "I'm feeling ill. I think I'll stay home today." Dogbert replies, "Great . . . Now you'll try to make me feel sorry for you so I'll wait on you all day. Well, that's a lousy thing to do to a friend." Dilbert says, "Gee, I'm sorry. Can I get you anything while I'm up?" Dogbert replies, "Tea with lemon. And some waffles."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #peter, #brilliant, #computer, #programmer, #job, #lack, #social, #communicate, #species, #necktie

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The Boss says to an employee, "Peter, you're a brilliant computer programmer and you like your job." The Boss continues, "Although you lack any social awareness and cannot communicate with your species, I decided to promote you to management." The Boss holds out a tie and says, "Don't be afraid . . . It's called a necktie." Peter shakes and cowers in his chair.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #computer, #programmer, #supervisor, #mastering, #instruction, #manual, #pants, #tim

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Peter says to Dilbert and a woman, "Yesterday I was a computer programmer and today I'm your new supervisor." Peter tugs at his pants and says, "The hardest part is mastering these dang management clothes. Did you know they don't come with an instruction manual?" Peter's pants fall to his ankles and he says, "I'll have to call their '800' help line again."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #billion, #dollars, #earnings, #projections, #level, #donuts, #meetings

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The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and a woman sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "The company is a billion dollars below its earnings projections." The Boss continues with his mouth full, "From now on, only the managers at my level or above may eat donuts at company meetings." The Boss continues, "This won't be easy for any of us. Heck, I don't even know if I can eat this many donuts."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cars, #clean, #letters, #express, #outrage, #editor, #Funny, #pages, #sarcasm, #children, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #time

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The caption says, "Their cars are always clean." A man polishes his car with a cloth. The caption says, "They write letters to express their outrage." A man sits at a table with an open newspaper next to him. The man writes, "Dear Editor, The funny pages is no place for sarcasm! Think about the CHILDREN!" The caption says, "They read the same book more than once." Dilbert sits in his chair reading a book and laughing. Dogbert says, "They are the people with way too much time on their hands."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #consultant, #creativity, #company, #supressed, #association, #chair, #donut

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Dogbert stands in front of the Boss and several employees. Dogbert points at a diagram of a man's head being crushed by a vice grip. Dogbert says, "As your consultant I will unleash the creativity that the company has supressed." Dogbert continues, "We'll begin with word association. I'll say a word then you each say what pops into your head. Chair." The Boss says, "Donut?" A man next to the Boss says, "I say donut too." A woman says, "I was going to say donut." Another employee says, "Donut."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #creativity, #consultant, #exercise, #research, #support, #method, #company

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Dogbert stands on a desk and says to a man, "This exercise is especially for the MBAs in the company." The man asks, "What's the payback?" Dogbert hits the man on the head with a bat several times. Dogbert says, "There's no research to support this method, but you gotta admit it feels right."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #ted, #dog, #computer, #working

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Ted sits at his desk. Dilbert asks, "What are you up to, Ted?" Ted replies, "I'm working like a dog lately." Dilbert walks away thinking, "I'd better not ask." Ted scratches his head with his foot.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #ratbert, #hole, #space, #bad, #minute, #passed, #dimension, #floating, #hundred, #thousand, #bored

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Dilbert reaches into a hole and says to Dogbert, "I'm going to pull Ratbert out of the hole in space before anything bad happens." Ratbert tells Dilbert and Dogbert, ". . . Although only a minute passed in this dimension, I've been floating in the other dimension for three hundred thousand years." Dilbert says, "Wow! It's lucky I didn't reach in there with my watch hand!" Ratbert yells, "Yes I was bored!!! Thanks for asking!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #department, #bowling, #rewarding, #performance, #quarter

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The Boss tells Dilbert, "We're having a department bowling night tomorrow." The Boss continues, "It's my way of rewarding all of you for your performance this quarter." Dilbert replies, "We hate doing things together at night." The Boss says, "I wasn't happy with your performance."