Set Up Meeting Comic Strips - Page 97

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View 961 - 970 results for set up meeting comic strips. Discover the best "Set Up Meeting" comics from Dilbert.com.

Ten Things We Look For In Employees

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Ten Things We Look For In Employees - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hiring, qualifications, interview, job interview, outsmart

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Boss: We look for ten qualities when we hire. Man: Ten? I'm looking for an employer who knows how to set priorities. Boss: He was too good for us.

Alice Can Be Disrespectful

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Alice Can Be Disrespectful - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags mocking, frustration, power, helpless

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Boss: Alice mocked me in a meeting and I didn't react. Now she thinks she has the right to be disrespectful all the time. Catbert: You can't afford to lose a top engineer. Just wait it out and she will get tired of it. Alice: Sproink! Look what happens when you tell a lie! Boss: Hold... hold...

Alice Sets Precedent

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Alice Sets Precedent - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags power, exploitation, frustration, helpless, mocking, teasing, cruelty

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Alice: I insulted our boss and he didn't react. The precedent has been set. I plan to test the limits of this unexpected employee benefit. What's up, idiot? Boss: Must... not... fire... good engineers.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, first impression, culture, interview, job interview, deception, revenge, nice, niceness, nice people, business

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Job Interview. Boss; When I make hiring decisions, my biggest priority is cultural fit. Man: Your buzzwords are like music to my unemployed ears. And here come some employees who can tell me about your company culture. Boss: Uh-oh. Man: Hey, guys. Can I ask some questions about the culture here? Dilbert: Working here is like a paradise. Wally: Best place ever. Dilbert: Our days are full of laughter, hugging, and camaraderie. Wally: Coffee is free! Man: Wow. Thanks. I look forward to working here. Boss: ??? Dilbert: I didn't like that guy. Wally: I'm glad we got our revenge in advance.

How The Elbonians Spun It

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How The Elbonians Spun It - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags slavery, slave, slaves, semantics, owner, ownership, obliviousness, wages, money, pay, payment

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Dilbert: How's it going with the Elbonians you bought on the Internet? CEO: I had to set them free. Turns out it was slavery after all. Dilbert: You made them work without pay. CEO: Yeah, that's the spin they put on it, too.

Ceo Wants To Fire Dilbert

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Ceo Wants To Fire Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, firing, fired, termination, identity, fake identity, alias, nom de guerre, deception

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Boss: Our CEO ordered me to fire you for embarrassing him at a meeting But that would be inconvenient for me. So... I'm going to call you Carlos from now on. And it would help if you grew a beard and walked with a limp.

Boss Falls Off Bridge

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Boss Falls Off Bridge - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags walking, meeting, meetings, accident, difficult, gimmick, manager, idea, ideas, distraction, Sports, business

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Boss: My new thing is taking long walks instead of having meetings. Wow. It is hard to walk, read, think, talk, and drink coffee at the same time. Dilbert: He fell off a bridge. Carol: That's why I schedule walking meetings for him.

Ceo Compensation

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Ceo Compensation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags money, worth, salary, wages, fairness, fair, pay, expenses, saving, rich people, executives

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Dilbert: I just saw your net worth on the Internet. What's this meeting about anyway? CEO: It's about keeping expenses down. Dilbert: More for you? CEO: That's not the spin I was going to put on it.

People Get Dumber When Sitting Down

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People Get Dumber When Sitting Down - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags intelligence, dumb, belief, furniture, new age, science, metaphysics

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Dilbert: Is it my imagination or do people get dumber when they sit down for a meeting? Or would you say you are equally dumb no matter what you are doing? Boss: Well, I'm no scientist, but I'm pretty sure feng shui is part of the answer.

Forgetting Meetings

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Forgetting Meetings - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags appointment, absent mindedness, forgetting, therapy, irony, psychology, psychiatry

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Dilbert: Do you ever have anxiety because you feel like you're supposed to be in a meeting that you forgot? Alice: You should see a doctor about that. Dilbert: I already made... uh-oh. Alice: Was the appointment for today? Dilbert: An hour ago.