Stupid Towns People Comic Strips - Page 97

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 26, 2007's comic on:


Tags #meeting right now, #lunch time, #12 hours, #misery, #envy, #dead don't eat lucnch

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The Boss: Can you come to a meeting right now? Dilbert: No, it's almost lunch time. If I miss lunch, my day will be 12 hours of uninterrupted misery. I will envy the dead. The Boss: That's stupid. The dead don't eat lunch either.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 26, 2007's comic on:


Tags #asbestos, #ceiling, #no worries, #disturbed, #plan to be disturbed

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The Boss: The facilities people tell me there's asbestos in the ceiling. They say you don't need to worry about it unless it gets disturbed. They plan to disturb it today.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 07, 2007's comic on:


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"Wally, too many people are asking me for things. How can I set priorities?" "Wait until everyone is yelling at you and then help whoever makes the scariest threat on any given day." "Is that what you do?" "No, I tell people to go ask you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 08, 2007's comic on:


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"Wally, did you finish the detailed analysis?" "No, I'm more of a big picture kind of guy." "Why didn't you tell me that a week ago when I asked?" "I don't like to disappoint people." "What the @#$% do you think I am now?!" "Hey, I think I'm starting to like disappointing people!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 09, 2007's comic on:


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"I disappoint people, but I'm learning to enjoy it." "The key to happiness is to love who you are, not who others want you to be." "Doesn't that make you a sociopath?" "Yeah. I love that about me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 13, 2007's comic on:


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Wally's keynote speech "The source of all unhappiness is other people." "The sooner you learn to think of other people as noisy furniture, the sooner you will be happy." "That's the stupidest advice I've ever heard!" "Hey, it's a talking ottoman! Hee-hee!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 26, 2007's comic on:


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"Hi, I'm Jeff, the human ashtray." "I like to lean in real close to people so they can enjoy my aroma!" "OW! OW! OW!" "Sounds like someone is getting his ash kicked."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 05, 2007's comic on:


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I have the ability to quantify the unquantifiable. "That is why they call me Dogbert the quantifier." "Who calls you that?" "Eight people."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Catbert: Evil director of human resources "I hired two people to work on your project." "One is a mumbler and the other one is hard of hearing but doesn't know it." "Mmmm, afterglow."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 12, 2012's comic on:


Tags #complaining, #work ethic, #such back, #due dates, #lazy, #incompetent, #busy, #root cause

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Coworker: I need to give you some push-back on these due dates. Dilbert: No problem. Should I tell the others you're lazy, or incompetent, or in over your head? Coworker: How about just "busy?" Dilbert: Okay. I will insist that people ignore the root cause.