Well Designed Comic Strips - Page 97
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970 Results for Well Designed
View 961 - 970 results for well-designed comic strips. Discover the best "Well Designed" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday August 02,
2020
Dilbert Tells The Odds
Tags #business, #decision, #estimate, #managers & supervisors, #miscommunication, #odds, #technology, #wrong
Transcript
dilbert: i estimate odds at a 70% chance things go well, and a 30% chance we lose money on the deal. boss: if we lose money, will you admit you were wrong? dilbert: how could i be wrong? i'm just telling you the odds. boss: if we lose money, that's on you for recommending it. dilbert: um...no. i'm telling you the odds and letting you decide. boss: but you're the one saying this is such a great deal. dilbert upsetting and yelling forcing face mask off his face: i'm only telling you the odds, you pea-brained ignoramus!!! boss: so, you won't admit you were wrong? dilbert's face mask is over his eyes.
Friday July 24,
2020
Reasonable Assumptions
Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #plan, #reasonable, #unreasonable, #assumptions, #job, #face mask, #sarcasm
Transcript
dilbert wearing face mask: i ran the numbers, and your plan does not work under any reasonable set of assumptions. boss wearing face mask: have you tried "unreasonable assumptions?" dilbert: why would i do that? boss: well, to keep your job, for example.
Monday July 27,
2020
No Raise In Years
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #job, #raise, #nine, #years, #face mask, #employment
Transcript
office worker: i've been working here for nine years, and you haven't given me a single raise! boss: i didn't even know you worked for me. obviously, you didn't do anything useful, or i would have noticed. office worker: well, in that case, i'm glad i didn't give my name.
Tuesday August 04,
2020
Dilbert Can Answer Questons
Tags #answer, #business, #delegate, #face mask, #managers & supervisors, #meeting, #project, #question, #sarcasm, #awkward
Transcript
boss: dilbert can answer any of your questions, but i have another meeting. dilbert: not really. i have no involvement in the project. he just told me to follow him to this room. co-worker: well, this is awkward. dilbert: how about i go to the restroom and never come back?
Tuesday August 25,
2020
Ted Takes Selfie With Bear
Tags #office workers, #selfie, #picture, #wild, #bear, #success, #techology, #business, #face mask
Transcript
wally: did you hear ted took a selfie with a wild bear? dilbert: wow. where can i see that picture? wally: you'd need to ask the bear. it didn't go well.
Monday September 14,
2020
Survivor Guilt
Tags #coronavirus, #managers & supervisors, #business, #double, #income, #pandemic, #covid, #survivor guilt, #sympathy, #face mask
Transcript
ceo: well, i personally doubled my income during the pandemic. now i have a bad case of survivor guilt. dilbert: do you expect to get much sympathy for that? ceo: i won't know until i try.
Tuesday October 20,
2020
Quarantine Wally
Tags #avoid, #business, #clean, #covid-19, #hazmat suit, #health & safety, #quarantine, #symptoms, #wash, #pandemic
Transcript
man in hazmat suit: you reported covid-19 symptoms, so we have to quarantine you. wally: i don't have symptoms. i just said i did to avoid a meeting. man in hazmat suit: well, you probably have it now. i haven't washed this hazmat suit in five months.
Tuesday October 27,
2020
Credit Goes To Boss
Tags #anger, #business, #culture, #idea, #managers & supervisors, #ownership, #report, #technology
Transcript
boss: i realize this report has dilbert's name on it, but the credit goes to me. because i ordered him to do it. dilbert: actually, i came up with the idea and wrote it on my own time. boss: well, i created the culture that made it all possible. dilbert yelling: i did the work!!!
Friday October 30,
2020
Code Reuse
Tags #business, #code, #reality, #reuse, #simulation, #software, #technology
Transcript
dilbert talking to dilbert: well, i knew this would happen sooner or later. you're an example of code reuse, which proves this reality is a software simulation. dilbert: technically, that's not a "proof." dilbert: hello, me!