Search Results for "monitor work"
Share February 24, 2000's comic on:
Caption reads: "The Technology Demo." Dilbert explains to the Boss and to Ted as they are reviewing the demo: "The software isn't 100% complete." Pointing at the monitor screen, Dilbert continues to explain: "If it had a user interface you would see something here...here...and sometimes here." He concludes: "And then you'd be saying, 'I gotta get me some of that.' Any questions?"
Share March 10, 2000's comic on:
The boss writes an e-mail to Dilbert: "The Employee Appreciation Luncheon will be potluck." Dilbert reads the rest of the e-mail: "Drop off your dish at my house on your way to work." The Boss thinks: "If this works, I'll never need to buy groceries again."
Share March 17, 2000's comic on:
Wally asks the Boss: "Should I be trying to discover a shared vision that will foster enrollment rather than compliance?" He continues: "Or should I modify my conceptual map to focus on organizational complexity?" The Boss asks: "Is any of that the same as work?" Wally replies: "It pays the same."
Share April 10, 2000's comic on:
Dilbert and Dogbert are sitting on the sofa. Dogbert, who is sitting atop the back of the couch, asks Dilbert "Remember the time you went skydiving?" Dilbert replies with the TV remote in hand, "No." Dogbert says, "You will. I'm planting false memories in your subconscious." Dilbert replies, "It won't work." Dogbert says, "But you believe you went to college, right?"
Share April 15, 2000's comic on:
Catbert, now acting as the Evil H.R. director, aks Dilbert "Would you work harder if we offerec stock incentives." Dilbert responds, "Yes." Catbert asks, "So you admit you're not working hard enough now?" Dilbert replies unsure "Umm..." Catbert goes on to ask Dilbert, "Lastly, are you still beating up customers?"
Share May 20, 2000's comic on:
The Boss asks Dilbert, "Do you have any weaknesses that need improvement?" Dilbert replies, "Sometimes I work so fast that I become invisible." Dilbert goes on to say, "If I seem blurry right now, it's because I'm multi-tasking." The Boss thinks to himself, "Once a year is way too often for this."
Share June 27, 2000's comic on:
The Boss says to Dilbert, "You've got to work eighteen hours a day to compete in this industry!" Dilbert cunningly says, "Let's just say we work eighteen hours a day. Maybe our competitors will die trying to match us." The Boss asks Dilbert, "Would that work?" Dilbert answers, "It almost worked for us."
Share July 04, 2000's comic on:
Share July 11, 2000's comic on:
Dogbert the consultant says to the Boss, "Here's a free sample of my work." The Boss says to Dobgert as he reads the booklet, "So company 'A' was managed by idiots with no web strategy." The Boss asks Dogbert, "What would you recommend for my company?" Dogert replies, "First, change its name to 'A'.
Share July 22, 2000's comic on:
Dilbert works on his resume at work. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "There...my resume is done. I will no longer be a slave to my company." Dogbert, now irritated says to Dilbert, "Yeah! Now you're a potential slave for a company in an undesirable location!" Dilbert turns to look and Dogbert and asks, "Was that sarcasm or supportiveness?" Dogbert replies, "You only think there's a difference."