Job Review Comic Strips - Page 98

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Job Review

View 971 - 980 results for job review comic strips. Discover the best "Job Review" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dogbert Is A Good Listener

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Is A Good Listener - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #listening, #ignoring, #earbuds, #headphones

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Thanks for listening to me vent about my job. You weren't always a good listener, but apparently you matured. Dogbert: The quality of my life has improved a lot since I got wireless earbuds.

Rabies Warnings

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Rabies Warnings - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #warning, #caution, #safety, #liability, #rabies

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: Alice, can you review the product warning I wrote? Alice: "Don't start a fight with a rabid raccoon while using this product." You have nineteen pages of rabies warnings. Tina: I was surprised at how many animals there are.

Alice Forgives

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Alice Forgives - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #revenge, #forgiveness, #bygones, #anger, #vindictive

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Alice, can you review this for technical accuracy? Alice: No, because six years ago you rolled your eyes when I said something at a meeting. Man: Can you forgive me? Alice: Yes. That process involves not helping you.

Robot Is Too Smart

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robot Is Too Smart - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #robot, #automation, #power, #managers, #intelligence, #ai, #artificial intelligence

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our new robot is too smart. It keeps threatening humans into doing its job while it does nothing but drink coffee. CEO: Isn't that all you do? Boss: I don't like where this is heading.

Emptiness And Pain

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Emptiness And Pain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pain, #emptiness, #soul, #work ethic, #motivation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: This is Randy, our new employee who has no soul. Tina: Wow. What's it like to have no soul? Randy: I feel only emptiness and pain. Tina: I hope you didn't take this job to get away from emptiness and pain. Randy: No, I just wanted to get paid for it.

A Wally Robot

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
A Wally Robot  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #robot, #modernity, #technology, #automation, #coffee

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Do you worry that a robot will someday take your job? Wally: Nah. No one will build a robot that does nothing but drink coffee. Man: It does nothing but drink coffee. It can replace twenty percent of your workforce. Boss: I like it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #memory, #notes, #forgetting, #reminder, #forgetfulness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Can you review the project plan in the shared folder before Monday? Man: Absolutely. Dilbert: I don't see you making a note to remind you later. Man: I'll remember. Dilbert: How many other tasks are you trying to remember at the same time/ Man: About seventy. Dilbert: And yet you will remember this one? Man: Have some faith, Wally. Dilbert: My name is Dilbert. Man: What were we talking about?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #contract, #legalese, #language, #comprehension

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Review this contract and tell me if it looks right. Dilbert: It's legal gibberish. I don't understand a word of it. Boss: So... you see no problems? Dilbert: Only a lawyer could understand it. Boss: But otherwise it's okay? Dilbert: My inability to identify a problem is not proof of no problems. Boss: Then how do you know when all of your problems have been fixed? I'll just sign it and see what happens.

Helping The Boss Be Successful

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Helping The Boss Be Successful - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #helpfulness, #niceness, #kindness

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: How can I help you achieve your goals and be more successful? Boss: You could stop talking all creepy and weird. Asok: I thought I was being helpful. Boss: Go hate your job like everyone else.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #prognosticate, #prediction, #projection, #budget, #blame

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Are your financial projections available? Dilbert: Yes, because I can see into the future. Boss: No one can see into the future. Dilbert: Then why did you ask me if I can do it? Boss: It's your job to predict the outcome of your project. Dilbert: Why would you ask me to do something that no one can do? Boss: I don't need you to be accurate. I only need someone to blame when we go over budget. Dilbert: I saw that coming. Boss: No one like a braggart.