Life In One Package Comic Strips - Page 98

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1000 Results for Life In One Package

View 971 - 980 results for life in one package comic strips. Discover the best "Life In One Package" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 15, 1999's comic on:

Tags #wax spoon, #huge spoon, #reapy, #gartitude

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Phil and Asok walk. Asok says, "Phil, you have atught me so muach about life. How can I repay you?" Phil says, "You can wax my huge spoon." Asok says, "Why do have a huge spoon?" Phil says, "I'm just lucky, I guess."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 17, 1999's comic on:

Tags #computer manufacturer, #threats, #to kill, #freeze up, #supportive police

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Dilmom opens her door to two policemen holding guns. Cop one says, "We have a report that you threatened to kill a computer manufacturer." Dilbert's mom pionts to the computer and says, "It freezes up five times a day. I have to unplug it to turn it off." The cops put down their guns. Cop 1 says, "Okay, we're with you. When's it going down?" Dilmom says, "Is tuesday good?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 23, 1999's comic on:

Tags #moral issues, #summarize, #appropriate categoires, #managers incompetent, #arrogant, #micromanaging, #msiogynists, #time of month

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Alice and the boss sit at a table. The boss has a lap top in front of him and says, "Tell me what moral issues you have. I'll summarize them under the appropiate categories." Alice says, "My managers are incompetent, arrogant, micro-managing misogynists." The boss says, "That's one under "time of the month."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 27, 1999's comic on:

Tags #budget numbers, #totally inaccurate, #only numbers, #infinite inaccurate numbers, #encrypt them

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The boss stick his head into Dilbert's cubicle and says, "Do you have those budget numbers from last months?" Dilbert says, "They're totally innaccurate." The boss says, "I know but those are the only numbers we have." Dilbert says, "Actually we have infinite inaccurate numbers to choose from." The boss says, "Let's keep those in our back pocket in case we need them." Dilbert says, "I'll encrypt them so no one else can use them."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 13, 1999's comic on:

Tags #old binders, #landfill, #fedex, #marketing, #look expose reports, #business

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Asok stands with a box behind Wally who sits at his computer. Asok says, "Wally, what is the quickest way to send this old binders to the landfill?" Wally says, "I usually use "Fedex". Charge it to marketing; they never look at their expense reports" Asok walks away and thinks, "here's one more thing I can never tell anyone about my job."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 26, 1999's comic on:

Tags #knew you were rebel, #cool rebels, #stop talking, #threats, #argue, #bathrobe to work

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The girl with several piercing holds Dilbert's arm and says, "When I saw you wear a bathrobe to work, I knew you were a rebel." The girl says, "From now on, when you come upon a group of us cool rebels, we won't suddenly stop talking." Dilbert and the girl walk up to two heavily pierced men. One of the pierced rebel men says, "But if I'M right and yellow IS a flavor, I get to hammer a nail into YOUR skull."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 18, 1999's comic on:

Tags #hiding nametag, #fake babies, #see name, #start fliting, #babies, #third fake baby, #still hides name

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Dilbert is at the checkout counter of clothes store. The cashier has her hand over her name tag. Dilbert thinks, "She's hiding her name tag so I won't get friendly with her." dilbert reaches into a sack and thinks, "I'll toss these fake babies in the air. When she catches them, I'll see her name and start flirting." The cashier catches one baby, the other lands on her head as her hand remains on her name tag. Dilbert thinks, "Dang! I knew I should have brought a third fake baby."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 19, 1999's comic on:

Tags #fake rubber babies, #chick magnet, #stupid fly, #tough love

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Dilbert walks in apark holding two plastic babies. A girl walks by Dilbert with a heart over her head. Dilbert thinks, "These fake rubber babies will make me a chick magnet." A fly bzzz past. Dilbert hits the fly against a tree with one of the babies. Dilbert thinks, "Stupid fly." The women looks horrified. Dilbert says, "It's tough love."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 01, 1999's comic on:

Tags #cube farm, #excellent yield, #put down, #reproduce

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The cube farmer walks through the cubicle and thinks, "My cube farm has an excellent yield this year." The farmer looks at Wally and says, "I reckon I'll have to put this one down so he won't reproduce." The farmer says, "Sorry." Wally says, "No problem; I hear that a lot."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 03, 1999's comic on:

Tags #dogberts tech support, #upgrade software, #old software, #back up data, #delete it yourself

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Caption: "Dogbert's tech support" Dogbert talks on the phone at a computer. Dogbert says, "If you upgrade your software, all of your data will be lost." Dogbert says, "But if you don't upgrade, the old software will corrupt your data one bit at a time." Dogbert says, "And if you try to back up your data, our software will hunt you down and bit-slap you until you delete it yourself."