New Product Comic Strips - Page 98
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1000 Results for New Product
View 971 - 980 results for new product comic strips. Discover the best "New Product" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday July 22,
2003
Tags mandatory online training, system crashed, retake training
Transcript
"You're the only one who hasn't finished the mandatory online six sigma training." "I finished it, but the system crashed before it stored my data." "This is when you say, 'There's no need to retake the training. I'll just check off your name.'" "Are you new on this planet?"
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Thursday October 02,
2003
Tags new hire, guy, bothering workers, love golf, rain tomorrow, plans, sad paper body, roll in salt, scoring system
Transcript
Man: "I love golf. Golfing is fun. It's a good day to golf. Do you want to go golfing in the rain tomorrow at 6 A.M.?" Wally: "No, thanks. I have plans to sandpaper my entire body and roll around in salt." Man: "I hope no one ever creates a scoring system for that."
Thursday October 16,
2003
Tags egos, europe to denver, lies, made up, management retreat, middle management, press release, top
Transcript
Dilbert: I can't imagine you told everyone at the management retreat.... But our marketing department issued press release sago were designing a tunnel linking Europe to Denver. FLASHBACK Man: Im installing a new sprinkler system in my lawn. The boss: Must top.
Wednesday October 22,
2003
Tags hapy, spacious offcie, ocean view, workplace, personalized environemnt, brad pitt
Transcript
"Who's today's guest cartoonist?" Dilbert: "I'm so happy in my new spacious office with an ocean view." "Finally I have the workplace I've always dreamed of." Wally: "The personalized environment headset works, sir." The boss: "Brad Pitt! Shouldn't you put a shirt on?" ANSER: GO TO DILBERT.COM
Tuesday November 04,
2003
Tags level conscious, vide presidents offcie, secretary, make direct eye contact, meeting, boss, new hire, business
Transcript
"We're not 'level conscious' here." "You could walk up to any vice president's office and talk to his secretary as if you were an equal." "Which, by the way, you're not. So don't try to make direct eye contact."
Thursday November 06,
2003
Tags new guy, new hire, bottleneck, bill, titanium
Transcript
Bottleneck Bill Bottlkeneck Bill: All purchase orders must be approved by me. I'll be too busy to approve anything but at least we have the system. Its titanium. Nice try. Alice: GRRRRR
Thursday December 04,
2003
Tags accidentally eat, apple core, care values, customer service, respect, stem is loyalty, teamwork, apple product
Transcript
The Boss: "This apple will remind us of our CORE values: respect, customer service, and teamwork." Dilbert: "The apple's core is the part you throw away." The Boss: "Not always. Sometimes I accidentally eat it." Dilbert: "Maybe the stem can represent our loyalty to the company."
Friday January 02,
2004
Tags office relocation, cubicle, air duct, facilities, chip out penguin, cold, cooler
Transcript
"Office relocation." "Some cubicles are slightly less desirable than others." "For example, your new cubicle is below an air duct so it is sometimes cooler than the area around it." "I asked the facilities people to chip out the penguin as soon as possible."
Thursday January 15,
2004
Tags over head storage, anxiety, doesn't fit, baggae, luggae, army on, above seat, iowa, airplane
Transcript
Dilbert: GAAA!!! Im having overhead storage anxiety!! It doesn't fit! Everyone will hate me for delaying the flight! Flight attendant: We ere scheduled to fly to new york, but thanks to the bag that didn't fit, we have to leave in Iowa.
Tuesday January 27,
2004
Tags deadly safety flaw, stock plunge, massive layoffs, ruined career, dead customers, hardest
Transcript
Asok: "Wally, I discovered a deadly safety flaw in our product. Who should I inform?" Wally: "No one. The stock would plunge and we'd have massive layoffs. Your career would be ruined." Asok: "But my negligence could cause the deaths of a dozen customers." Wally: "The first dozen is always the hardest."

