Executive Board Meeting Comic Strips - Page 98

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Executive Board Meeting

View 971 - 980 results for executive board meeting comic strips. Discover the best "Executive Board Meeting" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dilbert Falls Asleep At The Wheel

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Falls Asleep At The Wheel - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #safety, #catch-22, #fatigue, #accident, #driving

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I fell asleep at the wheel because I stayed up all night to meet your deadline. I had to work all night because you made me attend a mandatory safety meeting yesterday. But at least I got my work done on time. Boss: I forgot to tell you the meeting got moved to next week.

Dilbert In Wrong Meeting

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert In Wrong Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #awkward, #meeting, #embarrassed, #embarrassment, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I just realized I'm in the wrong meeting. My best bet is to slowly sink below the table and slip away. Someday, when my grandkids ask what I did for a living, I'm going to say I was unemployed.

Cartoonist Says Something Bad On Social Media Real

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Cartoonist Says Something Bad On Social Media Real - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineers, #sociopath, #pathology, #hit man, #murder, #killing, #morals, #emotions

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: The famous cartoonist we hired to be our spokesperson said something bad on social media. Boss: Oh no. How bad is it? CEO: Our board voted to kill him. Do you know any sociopaths? Boss: I'm head of Engineering. CEO: Good point. Pick any one of them.

Forgot To Go To Pre Meeting Corrected

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Forgot To Go To Pre Meeting   Corrected - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #lying, #deadline, #boss, #executive

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Is the software finished as your boss promised me it would be? Dilbert: I forgot to go to the pre-meeting for this meeting, so I'll guess the answer is.. yes? CEO: Okay, keep up the good work! Dilbert: Thanks goodness he doesn't know what the truth even looks like.

The Illusion Of Work

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Illusion Of Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #deception

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: It's easier to create the illusion of work than it is to do actual work. That's why I carry this red folder with me wherever I go. Man: Can you attend a design meeting at two? Wally: Ooh... I wish I could, but I'm behind on the red file.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cell phone, #conversation, #meeting, #business, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Why isn't anyone else here yet? Did you tell them you changed the meeting time? I asked you to tell everyone. That isn't my job. Then why didn't you tell me you weren't going to do it?!! It isn't my job to tell you what isn't my job. Now this meeting is a waste of my time. Does your job description tell you to attend meetings that are worthless? I didn't know there were other kinds.

Robot Lawyer Writes Gibberish

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robot Lawyer Writes Gibberish - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #chair, #conversation, #meeting, #robot, #sue, #table, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We replaced our company lawyer with a robot. Boss: It already rewrote all of our contracts into gibberish. Dilbert: Do we want that? Boss: I tried to ask, but it threatened to sue me.

Standup Meeting

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Standup Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #software, #engineer, #coding, #jargon, #language, #technology, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Are you coming to the standup meeting? Wally: Is it okay if I sit instead? Dilbert: No, that would ruin the software. Dilbert: Did that make sense when I said it? Wally: No, and it isn't aging well either.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #space, #cubicle, #conference room, #office, #sharing, #obstinacy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I have this conference room booked for a meeting. Alice: This is my private office now. I took it over. Dilbert: You can't just take over a conference room. Alice: I already did. It was easy. Now all I need to do is act as if it would be totally unreasonable to ask me to leave. Dilbert: You need to leave. I have this room reserved. Alice: That's totally unreasonable! I'm all settled in and I'm working on a company-critical deadline! Dilbert: I guess I could cancel my meeting. Alice: Perfect. Now get out of my office.

Wally's Invention Goes Into Production

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally's Invention Goes Into Production - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #invention, #success, #laziness, #fairness, #unfair

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: The board decided to put your invention of a phone charger that warms coffee into production. Market surveys show enormous demand. You're probably going to be our Employee Of The Year. This disturbs me on many levels. Wally: Genius is often disruptive.