Sits Next To Comic Strips - Page 98

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Sits Next To

View 971 - 980 results for sits next to comic strips. Discover the best "Sits Next To" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #babbled, #boss, #meeting, #appointment, #office, #blah blah, #can't shut up, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok the intern sits on a couch and the Boss sits in a chair. Asok holds a paper. The Boss gestures and says, "Blah, blah, blah." Asok thinks, "I only have thirty minutes and he's babbled for twenty-eight." Asok thinks, "It took three weeks to get on his calendar. My only hope is to send esp messages for him to shut up." Asok presses his hands to his temples, shuts his eyes tightly and thinks, "Shut up," over and over. He's sweating. The Boss continues to say, "Blah, blah, blah." Carol, the Boss's secretary, says to Asok, "Nice try, but it's time for his next filibuster."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #statement of core values, #change behavior, #planning to poiosn, #sarcasm, #necessary

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss walks by Dilbert, who follows holding a piece of paper and says, "Can you explain how the company's new "Statement of Core Values" will change my behavior?" The Boss sits down at his desk. Dilbert continues, "I was planning to poison the town's water supply. But wait! It's against our core values!" The Boss says, "Is your sarcasm absolutely necessary?" Dilbert checks the document and says, "Let me check. Hmm... it's not addressed."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #famous person, #sandra bullock, #kevin spacey, #eats bacon, #kevin who eats bacon, #one degree away, #close to fascinating

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his PC. Ratbert says, "Give me the name of any famous person." Dilbert says, "Sandra Bullock." Ratbert puts his hands to his temples, closes his eyes and thinks. He says, "Sandra Bullock was in a movie with Kevin Spacey... and Kevin Spacey eats bacon." Ratbert says, "See that? Everyone on Earth is only one degree from someone named Kevin who eats bacon!" Dilbert says, "That is SO close to being fascinating."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #agenda, #ubr, #first job, #crash dummies, #spent a fortune, #unfocused boss rambling

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert passes out paper to The Boss and Wally. The boss has a pencil and Wally has a coffee mug. Dilbert says, "Here's the agenda. The first hour will be U.B.R., as usual." The Boss sits at the conference table with Wally and Alice. He says, "This reminds me of my first job, before crash test dummies were popular. man, I spent a fortune on aspirin." Alice asks Dilbert, who has his feet up on the table, "What exactly is U.B.R.?" Dilbert answers, 'Unfocused Boss Rambling. Only 58 minutes to go."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #abuse people, #reduce turnover, #job titles, #convicted felon

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert, the Evil H.R. Director, sits at his desk. He thinks, "I can't abuse people if they quit the company. I'd better find a way to reduce turnover." Catbert types into his PC, "All job titles will be changed as follows..." Wally stares at his computer screen and says, "My new title is... "Convicted Felon." Dilbert says, "That's look good on the ol' resume."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #find people, #laugh nervously, #smack with flyswatter, #wouldn't be hobby, #no reason

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits on the couch, pointing the remote control at the tv. Dogbert stands on the arm of the couch wearing a backpack and holding a fly swatter. He says, "Wish me luck." Dilbert says, "For what?" Dogbert waves the swatter and says, "I'm going to find people who laugh nervously every time they talk. Then I'll smack them with my flyswatter." Dogbert walk away. Dilbert says, 'And the reason would be?" Dogbert says, "It wouldn't be a hobby if it had a reason."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #albert einstein, #marketing, #idea, #never work, #don't fully understand, #albert, #quite an ego, #experienced managers, #work smarter, #not harder, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

What if...Albert Einstien had been in marketing? Dogbert stands excited. Albert Einstien hands a piece of paper to The Boss who sits behind his desk. Einstien says, "I have a great idea for increasing sales." The Boss reads report. The Boss says, "Nope. This will never work." Einstien asks, "Um...is it possible that you don't fully understand the idea?" The Boss says, "That's quite an ego you have there, Allan." Einstein frowns. Einstein says, "Albert." The Boss walks Einstien out of his office. The Boss says, "Experienced managers know how to identify bad ideas...." The Boss says, "Bad ideas come from other people. Now go work smarter, not harder." Einstien walks away. The Boss thinks, "I worry that a guy like that will go off and build a huge bomb."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #integrate, #bad technology, #idiot boss, #good etchnology, #throw away, #bad tech, #pure veil

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at a desk with a computer on it. Dogbert sits atop the computer. Dilbert says, "It's my job to integrate the bad technology that our idiot boss bought with the good technology we already own. Your advice?" Dogbert waves his arms in the air, "Throw away the bad technology. Goof off until the next planned upgrade of the good technology. Tell your boss the improvements are a result of his brilliant buying decision." Dilbert says, "Wow. That's almost pure evil." Dogbert says, "You're welcome."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #claustrophobic in here, #copy machine, #new roomate, #share cubicles, #space constraints

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally stands infront of his cubicle. The Boss says, "Due to space constraints, some people will have to share cubicles." The Boss reads from a sheet of paer. "According to the list, your new roommate will be... the copy machine." Wally sits at his desk, his head pressed into the butt of the large woman standing behind him at the copy machine. She says, "Is it claustrophobic in here or is it just me?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employee rock climbing seminar, #valuable teamwork, #skills, #rock climbing, #open jars

View Transcript

Transcript

An instructor standing next to a rock climbing wall says, "Welcome to the employee rock climbing seminar." The instructor says, "You'll learn valuable teamwork skills by doing dangerous things unrelated to your job." Dilbert, Wally, and Alice look skeptical. Wally says, "Isn't rock climbing a solo activity?" Dilbert says, "I'll help identify your body." Wally says, "It seems like you need a strong grip to climb rocks." Wally says, 'I can't even open jars unless I use special tools." Wally grips his arm and screams, "Ow! Cramp!" Wally says, "I'm disoriented by the pain!" He falls into the others and knocks them down. Dilbert says, "Hey!" The instructor awards them their certificates and says, "Here are your diplomas. Now get out." Wally, Dilbert and Alice are in a heap on the floor. They all think in unison, "Go team!"