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View 971 - 980 results for big one comic strips. Discover the best "Big One" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ceo buzz, #hire a big name, #reputation, #toughness

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Dogbert's Executive Search Firm "You need to hire a big name CEO to get some buzz." "You want someone with a reputation for toughness, whoc kinows how toget the most out of people." "Come back later. I'm still getting the most out of this one."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #batch of tiger meat, #project, #chanllenging, #delight stockholders, #not challenging, #less motivated

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"I"m ready for a new batch of tiger meat. Grrr!" "I want a project that will challenge my abilities, bring glory to the company and delight our shareholders!" "How about this one?" "Nope. Not challenging enough. I'll give it to one of the less motivated employees."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evil director, #office efficency, #celebrated, #done forevre, #feel special

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Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources In order to improve office efficiency, all birthdays will be celebrated on the same day." "Do you mean one clebration per year, or just once and then we're done forever?" "Just once." "Well, at least I'll feel special once. What day is the celebration?" "Yesterday."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #good people quit, #wretched, #incompetent, #lazy

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wally: "Have you ever noticed all of the good people quit?" Dilbert: "There's no one left her bu wretched, incompetent, lazy miscreants" wally: "A-A-nyhoo."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #holding up wall, #new structural engineer, #wall fell

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The boss: what are you doing holding up the wall? Zing that was a good one. Dilbert: Have you met the new structural engineer?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #manager sounding voice, #promotion to management, #no qualifications

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"Congratulations, Alice. You're one of my two candidates for the promotion to management." "The other candidate has no qualifications except for his manager-sounding voice." "And he doesn't make that face.:

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #good advice, #balance, #personal life, #zen approach, #no freinds, #no work, #perfect balance, #zen, #faster

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Dilbert: "No one has any good advice on how I can balance my work with my personal life." Wally: "You didn't ask me." "I take the Zen approach of having no friends and doing no work. Hence, perfect balance." Dilbert: "Where did you get that definition of Zen?" wally: "I used to read, but it's faster to make up stuff."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evil director, #human resources, #help balancing, #personal life, #no love, #sound sunhealthy, #pill crybaby, #business

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Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources. "I need help balancing my career with my personal life." "I recommend a book called "No one will ever love you." It'll crush your hope for a personal life and free up more time for work." "That sounds unhealthy." "Take a pill, crybaby."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #important, #month to fisnish, #last minute, #unreasonable deadline, #freaky part

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"Asok, this is important but you have month to finish it." Asok: "I'll start right away." Wally: "It's smarter to wait until the last minute and then make a big show of how harding you're woring to meet the unreasonable deadline." Asok: "You said that right in front of him." Wally: "It's still work that's the freaky part"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #400 per hour, #expensive, #ball rolling, #process using, #recommendations

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The Boss: Mister Dogbert has agreed to consult for $400 per hour. "I know it's expensive but you get what you pay for." "Let's get the ball rolling." "My first question is: what process will you be using to arrive at your recommendations?" Dogbert: "a..." "very...slow one..."