First Staff Meeting Comic Strips - Page 98

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for First Staff Meeting

View 971 - 980 results for first staff meeting comic strips. Discover the best "First Staff Meeting" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 01, 2000's comic on:


Tags #know first aid, #marketing, #picked intern, #engineering dead pool, #team building pot luck, #lunch, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok the Intern is lying on the floor with his legs sticking straight up in the air. Dilbert says to Wally, Alice and The Boss, "I'll see if the guys in marketing know First Aid." Ted says to Dilbert, "Really? I picked that intern in our engineering dead pool!" Dilbert says to Wally and Alice as Asok continues lying on the floor, "Apparently our team-building potluck lunch didn't take."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 13, 2000's comic on:


Tags #gigantic database, #customer behavior, #information, #non linear math, #data mining technology, #optimize retail channels, #spam, #meeting here

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "We have a gigantic database full of customer behavior information." Dilbert says, "Excellent. We can use non-linear math and data mining technology to optimize our retail channels!" The Boss says to Dilbert, "If that's the same thing as spam, we're having a good meeting here."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 23, 2000's comic on:


Tags #key to success, #really fast, #speed, #ok to fail

View Transcript

Transcript

Pointing to a picture of a man running, the Boss says to his staff "Speed is the key to success." Dilbert raises his hand and asks, "Is it okay to do things wrong if we're really fast?" The Boss answers, "Um...no." Wally says to Dilbert, "Now I'm all confused. Thank you very much."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 18, 2000's comic on:


Tags #fun organization, #rubber chicken, #hurt so much

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to his staff during a meeting, "From now on, this is going to be a fun organization." Wally asks the Boss, "When are you leaving?" The meeting ends and Wally and Dilbert are leaving the room. Wally's glasses are broken and he looks like he's been ruffed up a little. Wally says to Dilbert, "I had no idea that a rubber chicken could hurt so much."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 12, 2000's comic on:


Tags #emergency flashlight, #plays flashilights, #jedi, #starwars, #immature

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "I hid the emergency flashights so no one can play with them." Wally replies, "Who plays with flashlight? That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard." As Wally and Dilbert leaves, the Boss thinks to himself "The short Jedi will die first."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 02, 2000's comic on:


Tags #kicking me, #least valuables, #manager, #most valuable emplyees, #turnover, #increase turnover

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to the staff, "As a manager, it's my job to reduce the turnover of our most valuable employees..." The Boss continues, "...and to increase turnover of our least valuable employees." Wally screams, "Ow! For the jillionth time, who keeps kicking me?!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 29, 2000's comic on:


Tags #self service consulting, #crate of anvils, #centralized, #decentralized, #strategy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to the staff during a session of self-service consulting, "I was hired because you're all dumber than a crate of anvils." Dogbert continues, "Now, can anyone tell me if your operations are centralized or decentralized?" Asok waves his hand excitedly, "Ooh! Ooh! I just thought of a strategy!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 26, 2000's comic on:


Tags #converging, #corate slogan, #future, #power of internet, #psoriasis, #goose bumps

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to the staff, "Our new corporte slogan is..." The Boss continues, "The power of the internet lies in converging the future with the here and now." The Boss then asks, "Goose bumps?" Wally responds while scratching, "Psoriasis."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 23, 2000's comic on:


Tags #pay slip, #increased complexity, #won't know, #rip off, #clueless, #in the dark, #happy to be evil, #cheat, #evil catbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert the Evil HR Director says to the staff, "We increased the complexity of your pay slip." Catbert yells, "Now you'll never know when we rip you off! Yeeha! Yeeha!" Dilbert says to Wally, "The only part that really bugs me is the yeehas."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 22, 2000's comic on:


Tags #employees, #funerals, #evil dierctor, #heating costs, #too high, #company furnace, #cremated, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert the Evil HR Director says to the staff, "Employees waste too much time at funerals." Catbert continues, "On a related note, our heating costs are too high." Later at home, Dilert's mother says to Dilbert, "As a matter of fact, I would mind being cremated in the company furnace."